I’m struggling. I just went to a meeting and I wanted to talk, to share, state a burning desire, ask for help. But I couldn’t. I feel like I’m doing everything wrong except not picking up. I know what I need to do but I can’t seem to bring myself to do it. I don’t want to use but I know I’m heading towards a relapse and I’m failing at my recovery.
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Hi Emily, you are not failing at recovery. You are learning how to use the tools you have been given. Just keep showing up, each day set the intention to share, if it doesn’t happen, you try again the next time. For some of us it takes a lot more to speak up than others. And you are speaking up, here, keep doing that too. You can do this, just keep doing the next right thing.
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I'm 7 months sober and still have trouble talking to others,just keep going and don't give up.
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For starts, get rid of that word “but”! It means everything before it is a fib. A relapse starts before that pick up. You know what needs to be done. And by sharing just now is an awesome start. Keep sharing. Try another meeting. Do zooms if you have too. Bug Jenn here. She’s a rock in helping other ladies. Just don’t pick up. Keep fighting. Don’t let this disease win.
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Action is one of the hardest things for me. I noticed that I was not doing the basic things for my recovery I changed nothing and put it off. I ended up loaded. Reaching out is fighting for your recovery.
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Keep going to your meeting. You don't have to talk right away but listening will lead you into sharing when you are ready.
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Emily stay strong. Your doing everything right just hang in there and you will start really seeing the payoff.
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Girl, I feel this in my bones. I still haven’t told anyone my journey or like… anything about me. And I know I’m supposed to and all that, but d*mn it is tough to open up (for some of us lol). All I can say is hang in there- you’re on the right path. It sounds like you know what your next move should be, which is huge. And usually we’ve done everything else, and nothing changed. So try doing the thing you haven’t done before- it’ll probably be your best bet 
You can do this!! I’m cheering for you 
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Keep going to meetings, and take the ‘burner’ - share on that Burning Desire. It’s not easy, but get connected to other women in the group. Maybe ask for a women’s phone list, and the next morning start calling numbers on the list - just to say hi and thanks. Recovery will flow from there. It’s not easy to ask for help, but you’ll be glad that you do - especially in a share at a meeting. Please keep coming back to the meetings!
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Stick with it Emily!
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Try talking to your sponsor more. Or maybe to people before or after the meeting. Public speaking is difficult for most people
When I click on the heart thing to support the well, awesome support provided-does not work at times. Also. My phone is a piece of expletives? Point being-love the encouragement and insights. I feel as if you are inspiring, Emily. Keep attending the meetings. I have felt the feelings which you bring up. The very fact that you are honest enough to bring so up inspires me. Rooting for you.
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I felt the same way when I went to a meeting years ago. Wish I would’ve concurred it and kept going. I’m not of any help, but it’s nice knowing I’m not the only one. Surely those of us that are here will find the help we want and need. Your not alone and either am I.
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Emily come to the Wednesday Loosid zoom meeting and share til your hearts content.
Thank you 
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What time is it?
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7:30 eastern. @jenn122709 is usually there. @wedad117429 too. @kate126565 and @mjg44017 and several guys too but it’s the women you need today. It’s not aa. It’s not religious. It’s not any one thing. There’s no readings from any particular literature. It’s just a group of people from all walks of life bound by the common gift of addiction who help each other stay on their path.
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There’s a great meeting every day at 12:30 est called no one left behind. I will post it here. You will find women to help you and you will not be judged and there is a burning desire to share at the end.
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I’ve been in recovery for 5 years and counting every person and there recovery is different I personally dont attend groups for some there great and others not so much maybe look for a new angle there is many different approaches to keep from falling I personally talk to someone relatable with addiction
I can relate to how you feel. At first I was all into it and going to meetings but as the days went by and the less and less I started to stop obsessing over the drug I felt I was good , now I’m dealing with the mental withdrawals, not being able to sleep or even relax . My doctor said when you abuse it re wires your brain , the brain gets flooded with serotonin and when you stop using your brain doesn’t go rite back to producing natural levels and that it will take time months to 2 years , night time is the worst for me and being alone. I can’t call one of my few friends up at 2am. I’m having trouble with that but as far as thinking of using again so far so good , I’m sure the medicine my doctor prescribes me helps a lot but the drug I was using made my tolerance go up high to the point I don’t get the same effects from what I am prescribed. Hang in there u made it this far try not to go back . It took 3x for me to get it just know you are not alone