I’m struggling with steps 4 of the 12 steps of

Struggling Help
#1

I’m struggling with steps 4 of the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Working on my fearless and moral inventory .

No, where in the big book of AA does it state is must be done within a certain amount of time .

I feel pressured by my sponsor, and I’m struggling with this task.

Is it his will, or God’s will, that is urging me to complete this process so quickly?

I have years and years of trauma that I’m dealing with, traumas that led to my alcoholism and substance abuse.

Any of you have any thoughts on the step four and a how I can complete this, in a timely manner? .

9 Likes
#2

Give yourself the time you need, do it right the first time

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#3

Thank you, Philip. That’s what I keep telling myself, but my sponsor is very adamant.

#4

Give yourself time player give yourself time :100: not to much tho cus it's no such thing at this point

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#5

I really appreciate this. Yeah, took me 21 months to get a sponsor.

I’m in no rush. I just want to do these steps right, the first time.

:pray:t4:🫶🏽:call_me_hand:t4:

3 Likes
#6

Emilio you are you are correct. However, Your sponsor is pushing you because people tend to get stuck on 4. It’s a relapse step. I’m doing 4 as well and I feel myself even as slowly as a glacial drift moving away from the excitement I had in doing the steps. My sponsor has been very patient with me but I can see the uneasy look in his face when I say I’m still working on it. They want to strike while the iron is still hot so to speak. Something I was told that comforts me is that people sometimes go through the steps multiple times without a relapse and I should just do the best I can right now and move forward. At some point I’ll realize what I missed and come back to it.

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#7

There is no proper time to go through the steps but many people think the longer we wait the more chance there is to go back out there. We can always redo them. All of them if needed. We can always get a new sponsor but we can’t always know we will survive our next time out there.

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#8

Honestly I would take a break because when we feel pressured and have to meet expectations it's when we stress ourselves out. I haven't really don't step work with a sponsor but that doesn't mean I'm not doing a program.

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#9

You can do it!:pray::sun_with_face::kissing_heart:

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#10

Marie, I like your suggestion I’m just doing maybe one or two a day and just doing my best not to worry about getting it done

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#11

Thank you. TinaMarie.

#12

I was told if you’re having problems with the step your on then go back and do the step before it again you might have missed something there. It worked for me.

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#13

There’s no time frame. Throughout your life you’ll think of things to add. But the first time you do it just focus on the big ones. The things you plan to take to your grave. Get the ones that have kept you drunk and the rest can be done later. Hope this helps!!! Good luck Emile!!!!

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#14

There's a saying, from a bunch of AA old timers that goes something like, "Getting stuck on your fourth will cause you to drink a fifth". It's a hard step and your sponsor wants to see you through it. Have you spoke to your sponsor openly about why you feel you need time?

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#15

Is there a place online off hand that you all know where I can download the Big Book? I’ve never seen it, but I hear about it a lot in here. Tia

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#16

If you need more time then take to brother. If you need a new sponsor with a different style there are more our there.

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#17

For me the steps are a guide to go through multiple times. I had a counselor who goes back and does them every so often when things change in our lives. I look at the steps as staircase not just one flight and we are done. One day at a time!

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#18

Thank you, Eric

#19

Yes, but I’m probably overthinking it, making it harder than it needs to be. :see_no_evil:

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#20

Take your time be thorough a half a$$ step four is half a$$ recovery. You’ll learn more about your self and your character defects and really the depths of your addiction. A patient step four is a perfect step four

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