Don't sweat it........it's absolutely NOT TO BE ASHAMED OF!!! your alive you messed up I know it feels heavy cause you want to be free so bad but honestly it's part of the recovery process. I shot dope for the first time when I was 13 years old. I don't think numbers go that high for the amount of times I relapsed haaa haaa. One thing I can absolutely promise you. When the pain outweighs the benefits you will never pick up again. Also I Know everyone has there own process but for me without God I can do nothing!!!! I'm not preaching so don't everyone attack me cause I love Jesus, but the truth is when your in absolutely dispare like I was for years what an amazing thing it is to go to the creator and lay it all at His feet and just ask for help. No more no less. My life has completely changed. I can't explain it. I do know I'm nothing special and what I got God gives freely to anyone who asks. I'm not talking religion I'm talking relationship.........just remember you didn't get that way in 5 days so give yourself a break, dust off those shoulders and if you can try and see what set you off that day and what you could do different. It's always the little things that get us!!! Much love
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Thank you everyone for the kind words, support and advice. I really took my relapse and ran with it…but I am back in the right frame of mind - 2 days now. Going to look at going to a meeting for the first time. Thanks again, this is a great community.
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Great job! One day or one hour at a time! 
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Make sure you tell them it’s your first meeting - they should run a first step meeting for you. Incredibly powerful.
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Relapsed frequently myself. We might be around the same age so maybe we could talk? Friend me u want.
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