I need advice about attending AA meetings. Ever since I got sober 3 years ago I’m falling out of relationships because all my relationships were based on substance abuse. I need a support system but I don’t want to deal with “the book,” “the steps,” the higher power, etc. Any advice?
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I went to rehab and then ditched all the stuff you mentioned once I was out and created my own structure to stay busy.
Many told me, oh you can't do it without a program. I have 7.5+ years sober.
I made a schedule and looked to have relationships with those that didn't have chemical dependency issues.
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Thanks!
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No one says you are required to do the steps, read the book… any of that. The group at the meetings are support… community. Find a local sober club and just start hanging out there. With the amount of sober time there are people who could benefit from your experiences and stories.
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You haven't been to some of the meetings I've been too then. They claim it's the only way.
There's always multiple ways to achieve similar goals in my mind. Do what works for you is my motto.
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For sure! The meetings I go to are pretty chill. Being sober is the end goal… doesn’t matter how you get there just don’t pick up.
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Try different meetings in different areas. Some I attend they preach steps and higher power. Other don’t push those things as much.
Smart recovery program uses science to aid in recovery, they have meetings virtually as well. It requires a ton of self discipline taking that route. Also, download the phoenix app they have free events with other recovering addicts like rock climbing etc, that will help build a support system asap!
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I hated how much the AA groups shoved a high power and steps down my throat. Tried NA and love it. Yes it’s talked about those things but not as much and not shoved in my face at the NA groups I’ve found. Love NA.
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I went to meetings for months because it was the only way I knew to hang out with people who were sober. It was very helpful, but I also couldn’t get behind the structure and higher power route. Nothing wrong with it works for a lot of people, just wasn’t for me. I skipped some events and learned how to go to others. Anywhere I go now specially with family people have NA drinks for me its actually quite nice. Those who care about you will care for you. It takes time, patience and you’ve been good for 3 years so it sounds like you have a solid foundation. Relationships take time and its hard to start over and break old habits. Classes are always good in whatever interests you may have, even if you don’t too much, learning something new keeps you busy and meeting people.
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I would go to meetings and be open minded. AA saved my life
There are secular AA meetings where we talk about sobriety, without prayer and all that stuff. I'm pretty sure Harrisburg has some of those meetings.
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Is it possible to create new friendships with people outside of your previous friends circle?
Just try to keep an open mind about whatever changes you need to make. Me personally I had a rough day and I am going to a meeting to talk about it...I feel better already! 
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I was in the same place, quit going to AA, tried every non-12 step imaginable, and relapsed multiple times. Going to try AA again, get a sponsor again, and complete the 12 steps and see if I stay sober.
I get it. Lost my girlfriend/drinking buddy of four years after my latest relapse when she refused to quit drinking. Stay busy. Work on crafting the life you want sober. Take care of yourself. Engage hobbies and interests. Get involved in organizations and groups. Make new sober friends. Exercise. Meditate. Pray if you believe in God. Chat with folks here who get what your going through. And again, just stay busy!
Sounds like AA will help
make sober friends and It might be worth it just for that.
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Is NA narcotics anonymous?
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Yes
You may want to think about what it is that you really want in this life? Seriously. What do you value the most? Most people usually conclude the most important thing in life isn’t material possessions, or their work. Usually it has something to do with their relationships - they value their relationships. And of course we should consider the relationship we have with this world and our creator. But a great starting place is to know ourselves - who and what we really are, what our purpose is, and what we want in this life. The big book is a manual to discover exactly that - a process to find ourselves and awaken to our highest potential. You truly owe it to yourself to answer your deepest questions about this life and live your best life. It’s right there waiting for you!!