I need help. I want to be done. But my husband has no plans of being done. My friends... everyone I know. . How do I stop?
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I don’t have the answer but you’re sobriety should come before anything or anyone. It’s a lot of tough decisions to make.
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Take this with a grain of salt. But here goes. If you’re an alcoholic or an addict continuing to drink or use is gambling with your life. Perhaps you need to to walk away from a situation that would keep your life on the line?
I got sober with my girlfriend and I stayed sober but she didn’t. It was a hard choice but I had to ditch her and the old friends to save my life. I’m glad I did, I have four years and I’m living the best part of my life. A few friends have joined me in sobriety and it was in part because of my sobriety that contributed to their sobriety in a significant way. My ex-girlfriend is still in her disease and it’s not a pretty sight. But if she ever makes the decision to get sober I’m here to help her do it. So my sobriety comes first, but with it I’m truly able to help those I care the most about. Without my sobriety all bets are off.
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People that love and care for you will respect the fact that want to stop drinking. People that don’t respect it never cared for you in the first place.
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It is hard, but any others' drinking is not the reason you're drinking.
If you need the support of your husband, you need to ask for it. He loves you, he'll support you.
No alcohol in the house, maybe he needs to go to a friend's or a bar and you pick him up and drive him home.
Unfortunately, there will be push back from those around you who still drink. Your decision to stop makes them feel guilty for their continuance. Some will try to get you to drink. Some will cut you out.
Your drinking is your decision and your responsibility. Anyone else opinion on it doesn't matter.
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Turn to God, literally give the whole situation up to Him. Give him everything
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Or be practical, and go to AA. AA is full of people who know what you're going through. Also AlAnon, to help you cope with your husband's alcoholism. AA is free, there are alot of meetings, all kinds of them. Find some women's meetings, the women in AA take really good care of eachother. You don't have to do this alone.
Please do not rely on just the internet or "god" . When you're sick, you go to the right doctor. The answers are all there. You need the strength of others, just like you.
Please stop. Literally. Or at least give some practical advice along with you Kool aid.
People are dying out here, while your god literally does nothing.
Your not getting the greatest replies on here Sarah, you cannot do it alone. Your first step is to go to an AA meeting. Listen to some people sharing their experiences. Take their suggestions. If you find AA isn’t for you then explore other 12 step programs or something like SMART recovery. If your the type who truly cannot stop but sincerely want to, then please take my advice.
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This was basically my reply as well.
You have your beliefs I have mine.
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Yes, but we both wanna help people, correct?
No one will have this answer it all depends on you. Your sobriety has to come first and foremost. I haven’t seen some family members in my entire recovery time because they don’t understand that I cannot sit and watch them drink. So bye for now. My husband finally gets it and there is no alcoholic in my home. He actually has a health condition and can’t have a lot of alcohol so that helps because he was a binge drinker.
It really so sad when your husband, family and friends can’t respect that you are in recovery. Maybe they should watch the final stages of alcoholism to wake up. Sorry maybe a little harsh but I watched one death and heard how my friend died so no thank you. One minute of glamorized drinking can lead to a very painful death. Please stay strong for you. 
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I'm not gonna get stuck in a debate with where you consistently mock my God and belief system. Your constant need to attempt to humiliate, downsize or whatever else you say to those that are Christian snd put their faith in Jesus says more about yourself than you think. Like I said, you have your beliefs I have mine. I won't respond to any of your comments that are obviously trying to get me into a debate where all you do is attack. Have a good one.
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Well saud
Be Done. Build a new circle of friends. Hopefully your husband supports you, otherwise you need to save yourself.
We all lost family and friends on this journey.
It’s your journey, protect it
Good luck
Someone is looking for help. Real help. You offer a placebo when you know there is real medicine. People have been relying on that placebo their whole lives just to find out that it doesn't work, unless it's backed up with fellowship and work.
All the prayer in the world is useless without something tangible. HeII your holy book even says that, in James 2.
Alcoholism is a disease, like cancer. Do you pray away cancer or do you go to the doctor? Maybe you do both? But the fact is, you have to get real help. When I hear someone say "give it to god" all I hear is someone jockeying for membership as your lot have been doing since their inception.
Doesn't seem very selfless or honorable to me.
When I was in your position, after I had tried everything else I could possibly imagine, I reluctantly went to a 12 step meeting. I’m not religious. There are parts of the program that make me scratch my head at times. But I worked the steps, and I made connections in the fellowship. I haven’t relapsed since my first meeting.
Some relationships have grown stronger. Some have drifted apart. But I’m happy and healthy and my problems are nothing compared to what they were.
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Again you have your beliefs. I have mine. Your constant need to degrade Christians says more about how you wish to spend your time then mine.
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I’m exactly at that point myself and even though I hate to admit it, I’ve been dealing with this for almost ten years. It’s a vicious cycle. I can do so good for so long but I ALWAYS end up giving in. We met while drinking. I don’t believe this marriage will ever work but I feel stuck for many different reasons. I feel for you. It’s an awful situation to be in. Please don’t waste as much time as I have. I have only hurt myself and my recovery by staying.
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