I’ve bounced back and forth staying sober and thinking I have it under control. Always at some point I get comfortable and drink way too much. I’m caught in this cycle and I fear I will lose my loving relationship. Today, I begin again.
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Good luck Michelle! I do feel like I get comfortable and think I can drink again. But 1 is not enough and 2 is too many...
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I'm right there with you.
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Very relatable.. 
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It’s a vicious cycle that keeps us believing we can have a few drinks and be fine but we are allergic to alcohol. As long as you recognize and get up and try again. Then your winning!!!!
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How do I get off this site? I can’t stand the constant text messages.
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What has helped me is I have a morning routine where I journal how I'm feeling,my intention for the day, some goals for the day and what I'm thankful for. I also write how many days I've been sober and one blessing that sobriety had given me. That daily reminder helps keep my sobriety front of mind and helps me remember that even if I think I "have it under control", as an alcoholic I never will when it comes to drinking, and risking my sobriety is never worth it. Best of luck to you! I'm still early on my journey- a little over 8 months, but the blessings sobriety has given me so far are pretty awesome!
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I feel you…I’m in the same cycle. I’m so afraid of letting my guard down and falling into it again
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It never gets better and only gets worse
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I did the bounce back and forth thing for many years. Thinking I’m good it’s been awhile so I can have a drink but the whole cycle starts all over again. And it is true I did not get better until I got help. Hang in there! Go hit some meetings. Reach out if u need to talk..
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Thats the insanity. I kept thinking I could, safely, and within days I was parked in front of the liquor store shaking and sweating low key screaming inside for it to open.
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You can do this! Keep coming back it works if you work it, just for today!
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AA saved my life.
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Truth! 
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Oh yes, I know this cycle well! I could only get a couple months under my belt before deciding I must’ve overreacted and then before I knew it: I was in terrible shape desperate to be out again! It was a devastating cycle that made me feel like a fool getting tricked again.
I’m celebrating one year today and I think a lot of why I’ve made it this far is:
- Try everything
- Keep what works
There are countless resources for quitting and ways to keep your sobriety.
Maybe you need an AA group and meditation practice?
Maybe journaling and fellowship through Loosid will help?
Maybe trying therapy and listening to sober podcasts? Maybe starting a new fitness group with sober gals will help- or a Sober Book Club!
Maybe a silent retreat will teach you something vital and maybe focusing on acts of service will move your state into being more aligned.
Try everything.
Keep what works.
It’s an adventure.
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Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are
*restless, irritable and discontented,
unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks--drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the
*phenomenon of craving develops,
they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a
*firm resolution not to drink again.
This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an
*entire psychic change
there is very little hope of his or her recovery.
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It always starts slow. One glass of one wine day. A bottle of 2 weeks later. Then drinks at dinner then 2 weeks later I’m at a bar partying again. It’s always the same cycle. Also wine seems to the easy justification because it’s “wine”
Thank you!!! I am ready to wi
Thank you for sharing. I do these tools and I write things down a lot and it’s the one I’d the best tools. Something about when the pen hits the paper and the flow begins. I look forward to a more committed journey.
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It’s an insane cycle and the results are always the same. It’s not worth it.