I pray that my family will one day see me in the present and stop seeing me as the woman i was in active addiction. I know it will take time, but they need to stop punishing me for things i don't do anymore.
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It definitely takes time but it does get better over time and relationships become stronger. We do have to remember that we hurt them and they may being it up from time to time it will take time for them to heal and forgive and I hope your relationships become stronger over time
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@jess421992 They will over the course of time once they see the change in you.
CONGRATULATIONS on your 255 days of sobriety.
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I feel this. The most important thing is that you see it. Just like recovery is a process for us, it takes time for our loved ones to trust in the new person we choose to be today. I know my family put up with many years of false promises and lies. They wanted to believe in me, but I broke that trust time and time again. Just because I’m ready to move on, doesn’t mean they are. We are blessed to have a program of recovery which can restore us to sanity pretty quickly. Unfortunately, our families don’t have the tools or supports system that we have. So while I pray for my family to see me differently, I also pray that I may have the love, tolerance and patience to allow them time to heal.
In the meantime, keep growing and evolving ODAAT
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One day they will. It took years for me but things are good now, thankfully as my parents are in their 80’s and we have a relationship.
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I know exactly how you feel. I'm a 30 year junkie. Its taken years to earn respect back from family. Once people get use to the lying and deceit of addicts its nearly impossible to earn everyone's trust back. Just continue to work on your sobriety and be proud of what you accomplished
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I feel you
Only thing I'll add is focus on the relationships that can stillbe repaired and try to let go of those that can't. You can beat yourself up for years over things that you just can't change
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It takes time. Just keep doing the right thing for yourself, one day at a time. It will happen, just keep up the good work!!!
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Just keep working on yourself it will come
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Hey Jessica they will but it takes time and right now you need to concentrate on your health and sobriety and you will see the miracles slowly happening at one day at a time, you’ve got this girl:muscle:t2:
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I was here. I had family that hated me and judged me not off my actions but off the stigma of addiction. They are just now coming around a little over a year later because I kept proving them wrong. I am not my addiction, sometimes time is the only thing that backs you up. Hang in there.
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Jessica, everything will work itself out if we stay unconditionally sober and kind.
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You hit home with me on that one. I will be 2 years clean at the end of January. I have been struggling with addiction for over 30 years. The majority of the last decade I spent what I call sidewalk surfing. Homeless. Completely. Sometimes I could get into a shelter. Sometimes I had a blanket on Hastings. Drifting. In the almost 2 years of treatment and sobriety i have been gifted with reconnection with so many people i thought I had lost forever. Some, some I still fear I will never get that second chance with. But I can say this. I recently was contacted by a family member that I haven't heard from in 22 years. My behavior and my choices ruined that relationship beyond repair. Or so I thought. I thought I would go to my grave with that guilt and regret on my heart and mind. I sent more than a few step 4 apologies to that person. Probably 6 months since my last letter, and I was gifted with a response. A family member i thought I was lost to forever. 22 years. We aren't anywhere near comfortable or close. But we are in touch. I never, in a million years. Don't lose hope. Just do you. Follow your heart. Work on your way towards your healing. What will be will be. It might very well surprise you.
They may never do it. But that’s not you problem. You’re sober!
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Just one thing to add.
With all the tenderness that a text box will allow me to convey, Miss Jessica, nobody needs to stop anything for things you don’t do anymore.
In so many instances we have no idea how badly we’ve crushed the hearts of those that loved us the most.
This is yet another instance where we are powerless.
People want to forgive. They want to love and care and foster special relationships, especially with family.
You’ll win your people over one way and one way only. By working your hardest to become a better person than you were yesterday.
Do this every day for the rest of your life and you won’t be able to get your head around how beautiful your life is.
Good luck, love you!!!
Stay prayed up! Don't take all that responsibility upon yourself.
Give them time...pray and ask GOD to open their eyes...he hears ya
It takes time. Be patient and better yourself everyday. God knows what your going through.
The seeds we sow bear their fruit in time, even bad ones. Your experiencing that fruit right now, I was going through the exact same problem. But I figured out, love covers a multitude of sins. Try writing a short heartfelt letter to these people. Let them know how much you appreciate them and how important it is to you to that they see you for who you are and not who you were. Acknowledge your behavior and let them know you understand why they feel the way they feel, and let them know you need their support to get through this. Thus a small seed of love is sown. See what kind of fruit it produces. Best wishes.