I see all of these posts on social media on how happy sobriety has made people and how they are living their best lives. I am 8 months sober and I don’t feel any of that, what is wrong with me?
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Withdrawals can last a long time. I think up to 2 years.
I get ya there. When I last went through recovery and had 3 years it kinda felt like that.
There's multiple things it could be. Are you depressed? Medication and exercise can help.
Are you being social, pursuing hobbies ect. What is your best life? Have you figured that out?
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Are you in a program? 12 step?
No, I am not.
Depression may be possible.
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Have you thought about going to one?
Maybe. I have thought about going to meetings. I don’t want to be a downer/or negative though. Maybe just go and listen?
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I like that attitude. Try a few different ones. I’m in AA and I absolutely love it. 3 years sober. I was 18 sober and completely miserable and going to AA well a lot of that time was during Covid. I struggled with the God concept for about 14 months. Then I did the 4th step & 5th step. Helped me a lot to look at my own inventory and see where I had made mistakes in relationships. Looked who I was angry with, what are my fears, and my sexual conduct. It turns out I wasn’t all that loving and caring like I had been telling myself all these years.
Made a harms list of those I harmed, then scheduled meetings with them and made amends. Not all went well. Some went great. Years of resentments gone in one afternoon. Some took lots of prayer and meditation. I’m allergic to alcohol. I have obsessive thinking and had a Spiritual malady. I love the tools AA has given me. A new way of life and a design for living. I hope you can get to a meeting soon and find a sponsor who can guide you through the steps. Practice the tools and then help another Alcoholic achieve sobriety.
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Thank you so much for all of your advice and sharing your story with me. I think part of my struggle is I literally almost died. My brother came and picked me up in another state and the doctor said in 2 weeks I would have been dead. I was so sick that I had to relearn to walk and so I feel so much guilt that I don’t have a better attitude and the right mindset. I am grateful but feel like my actions aren’t conveying that.
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Even if you're not religious it is still a place you can be and learn a lot. I'm a Nihilist but still found tools to be helpful in A.A. it is important to use multiple tools though for sure.
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Hello Patty, for me getting sober is a first step to building joy in my life. I feel good physically so I lift weights and it makes me feel better. I spend time with family sober and enjoy peaceful quality time. I do projects around the house and enjoy the results. I also study and deepen my faith, which is powerful in my life. Doing these things brings me happiness in my daily life, and being sober let's me do these things we'll.
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Patty, everyone is a "downer" at meetings, in the beginning of their stories. You can't have the upside without the downside. Please go to meetings and make some solid sober friends. This makes all the difference for me.
Hang in there.
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What kind of a recovery program do you have going on in your life?
We have a question in AA.
What do you get when you get a horse thief sober?
A sober horse thief.
You see, alcohol was but a symptom of our problem. We have to get down to causes and conditions. If you haven't taken the 12 Steps in AA you probably won't feel much better than you did when you got started. That's been my experience anyway.
These are the promises along with a description if you follow the AA prescribed remedy of recovery. I hope this helps.
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
*People who finish the Steps will experience relief from the suffering of addiction and feel free to pursue a new life without alcohol.
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
*Those who work the program will gain a sense of acceptance that allows them to process their experiences, learn from them and move on without guilt.
We will comprehend the word serenity.
*Addiction can lead to a constant state of inner turmoil. The AA program helps people find a calmness that is rare during the active use of alcohol and which many alcoholics have never known in their lives.
We will know peace.
*The 4th Promise builds on the 3rd Promise, acknowledging that a life of peace and undisturbed tranquility will be experienced.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
*Many individuals with a substance use disorder don’t believe that other people understand what they’ve been through but, in Alcoholics Anonymous, they often meet people who can identify with and learn from their experiences.
That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
*Addiction can make people feel worthless and guilty about their actions. The Steps can help individuals feel that their lives have a meaning and a purpose, particularly through helping others.
We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
*Addiction can lead to many self-centered behaviors. Helping other people find recovery can bring alcoholics outside of themselves and help them develop a genuine interest in other people.
Self-seeking will slip away.
*The tunnel vision of focusing only on oneself and drinking usually begins to fade as people work the Steps.
Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
*AA can shift one’s perspective from hopelessness to hope. People can begin to imagine a life where they are happy.
Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
*Alcoholics who recover through AA don’t feel like they must continue to hide or worry about how to support their addiction and maintain financial security.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
*As the AA member gets deeper into the recovery process, they begin to see situations more clearly and can tap into their inner resources.
We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
*The concept of a higher power is central to AA. This higher power, be it God or something else, becomes a guiding force in the person’s life.
Thank you so much for sharing. I will check out a couple of meetings.
You're welcome Patty
You have hope.
You will feel better.
Going from alcohol abuse to sobriety is a challenging endeavor. Sometimes we get on the wrong path and have to turn around and try something else.
I was once where you're at thinking the same thing.
Today I have a much better life thanks to people just like you and AA.
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PAWS. Time takes time. And smiling is contagious.
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Thank you everyone for the advice and support. I appreciate it very much!
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Talk to a therapist, I have found CBT really helped me with the negative thoughts and reflection of past events. My family found me face down at .4 bac. I had to learn self forgiveness and start to address the mental health issues and root cause of things
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Maybe you can think of this as another chance to just do your best. You didn’t die, you’re here and it’s hard and messy but you’re here and capable.
A big part of becoming sober (for me anyway) is forgiveness. A few days a week I write “I love myself, I trust myself” in my journal ten times and it just reminds me that even tho I make big mistakes sometimes (because I’m a human and we all do) I always come through in the end and I am capable. Even when I think I’ve ruined my life, truth is I haven’t. there are always solutions they just take a fudge ton of patience.
Hope this helps. Message if you need to talk.
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It helped me to go an talk about these feelings with other sober women. May try and seek out a womens group or a zoom
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