I’ve stopped a million times but always think I can have just one drink or one beer and just can’t stop and end up bingeing myself into a depression and can’t eat. I lost 20 pounds because of depression and drinking.
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One is one too many, one more is never enough. The old adage is true. If you haven’t been in a program I would definitely recommend it. There is no shame in needing the help, that thought of just one is the demon inside tricking you. The app “meeting guide” is free and gives all the locations and times for AA meetings in your area.
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I am powerless over alcohol and my life is unmanageable. I always thought I could just have one or two drinks like normal people. It never worked out that way, never.
Your in the right place. Get to a meeting and work the steps. AA has given me a life beyond anything I could have imagined. It works.
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It’s totally like letting the Genie out of the bottle for me. Seriously, one drink and there I go for a few days, maybe a few weeks, then stop. Not fun.
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It took me many tries to stop drinking. I cried many times because I felt guilty. I’ve also lived with severe depression that was worsened by alcohol. Don’t give up. Keep trying. Each time you go longer without drinking, you prove to yourself that you can until one day it feels a bit easier.
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This is what we call an allergic reaction to alcohol.
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Yes it’s definitely an allergy. Because I’ve tried different things to test my body and everything always rejects.
I hate this feeling. I want love but I’m scared to even show anyone my true colors. I stay to myself and never leave unless it’s to the grocery store.
Also what one of you said about depression is true. I’ve been depressed since I was 4 year old and alcohol was always my escape. Now it’s just a plague. Definitely need to find a better way.
Im so scared because i keep guns in my home and I’m afraid of my constant thought to use it. I know I won’t but I think about it all the time. The only thing I feel like keeping me here is my cat.
I know I’m my happiest when I’m sober so why do I always have a thought that I can have just one. I’m also going to start going back to aa.
Thanks for letting me vent here.
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The real love that you're searching for can be found on here and in the rooms of AA. We will love you and help you learn how to truly love yourself.
Here's something that I wrote in today's message here on Loosid that I thought might help.
In the Army we was trained to do everything as a team. A team is definitely a force greater than myself. There is no way I could fight a battle alone and be able to win, much less a war. Especially a war within myself. Granted we are trained to have mental toughness and fortitude, yet we can't win by ourselves. For me my disease of addiction/alcoholism completely shredded my mental toughness and fortitude. My will (decisions) got me into the war with addiction. Logic says my will (decisions) can get me out of addiction. What I failed to realize due to my ego is that addiction is definitely a power greater than my self, a negative power but still a power greater than myself. The disease of addiction and ego would intentionally mislead me and say, "you can do this alone, you don't need help." All along they're both sitting over there plotting and plannning it's next move already having the intel on my next move. The disease of addiction and ego was always two moves ahead of me on the chess board. I needed something greater than myself. I needed a team to help fight this battle and war. I needed a power greater than myself to fight these battles and fight the war. I had to surrender that I am powerless to fight this alone all on my will. I had to surrender to and accept a power greater than myself to help fight a power greater than myself (addiction). I can't fight this without my recovery/sobriety team and family. My higher power put that recovery team and family in place for me. All I had/have to do is surrender to and accept them and their help. Thanks to my higher power I can now have hope in winning this war with addiction.
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Get some sobriety under your belt
Yep that’s the plan. I’m two days sober. I’ve been sober for much much longer but I always think I can handle it and it ends up being bad all over again.
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See our disease lies in out thinking we tell ourselves stuff that we know isn’t true you know you can’t have one of anything so why I put yourself through it One is too many in 1000 is never enough You’re doing the same thing expecting different results if nothing changes nothing changes
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I was in that hole too. Antabuse is what saved my life
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You sound like me. I lost my wife 5 months ago. I’m left with our 1 year old son and I’m so lost. Can’t show love to anyone I’m scared to talk about anything to anyone
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I can’t even begin to imagine the pain you’re going through. You’ll get through it. Talk to someone. Sending love your way 
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That’s the problem…I don’t have anyone to talk to
I just signed up with betterhelp. You have a session I think once or twice a week but you can message your therapist whenever you want. It also comes with free group sessions. Just an option.
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Does this help with all types of alcohol?
Maybe you think you can have one so you can hang with the drinkers and not feel left out. I too have an allergy to alcohol. I can’t have one. No one needs to know why you stopped drinking. But when you are ready and you have had enough of the roller coaster to your mind and body then you will stop
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Lisa-it’s a beautiful life not drinking. I have gone out with my friends and some drink and some don’t-but I am holding true to myself and I feel great when I go to bed and the next day. It does get easier-please allow yourself to work the steps and make it through the first 30 plus days. You will enjoy it.
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