I was told no romantic relationships for a year. Why?

Recovery
#45

You can still have your independence while in a relationship though. When you're with the right person who understands you then they will see you as Queen who needs her space to rule.

#49

I think that's what I have.

#50

It’s a distraction. Any time you are dealing with a negative influence in life, beware of distractions. I was in a verbally anisotropic relationship for many years. I pursued a masters degree, an administrative certificate, remodeled this room and that. When I was about you embark on that “next thing” I suddenly realized I was filling my life with distractions, albeit productive ones, and not fully doing the work to deal with the issue at hand and why I was allowing myself to be diminished band demoralized at a personal level while keeping up the front professionally. In other words, confront, master and manage your personal demons first.

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#51

Plus we need to go to any meetings for a year to change and learn from other people.and get out of our shelf’s.and grow .

#52

I was told by a sponsor that “you need to go through all seasons, the holidays…all the usual changes, all of the ups and downs…you need to learn how to handle all of this and develop a strong program first. Do all of this for yourself. Grow, become healthy…then you can consider being with another.”

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#53

No major decisions for a year.:dromedary_camel:

#54

I understand that's what the program says but what about the universe. Doesn't God decide when its the right time? I'm on the fence here to be honest. I'm trying to abide but the feeling of being alone is not fun at times. Specially on Fridays and Saturdays, I miss a good dinner and show.

#55

Meet people in your program.and go out with sober friends.

1 Like
#56

Sick people attract sick people is what I was told. I waited a year, and it still wasn’t long enough. The tools of AA didn’t fully kick in until much later. I was in a horrible relationship that taught me a good lesson in patience.

#60

I was just asking a question. I know I'm in no condition to date or even be with someone. I'm still a mess myself and still finding me after so many years of not knowing who I was. Time will always let us know when it's right. I just have trouble be patient at times but the more I work on me the more I feel better. Knowing if I can love myself then I'll be ok. No one can fill the void except self love and of course Jesus. As for the books I've been using my library card more often these days so I hope that's helping too.