I'm just gonna share if it's ok ,
Ok lay it on us...
I'm gonna be 19 months sober tomorrow
It gets easier
I'm not good being around a lot of people in person ,cause I'm so scared I'll mess up ,
So this place is actually good for me
I have a lot of passion in my heart for helping people and I want to be a better person
Do everyday I'll make notes on what I need to improve on ,and then I'll read them every time I start forgetting where I'm wanting to be
I just feel like that helps me more than anything else because I give myself a really hard time
I'm tryna learn that it's ok to love myself and ok to put my needs and sobriety first
I want more out of life than feeling like I'm never gonna matter ,I'm never gonna be important
Before I got sober , spent about a year and half or more telling myself not to think the way I was thinking
Thinking it would never get better ,that I would never be on again
I wasn't sleeping,I wasn't going anything but sitting in a room wanting to die
My mental health dr put me on so much medicine that was suppose to knock me out with the dosage I was prescribed but it wasn't helping
I was dealing with a lot of grief my brother died my grand baby died at birth and then my self I was using drugs ,and struggled off n on with it for years
I started saving up my meds that were prescribed to me for sleep ,for months ,I just wanted to go to sleep and not wake up
Serequil n trazedone ,
Was in so much pain ,eat up inside the deepest part of my soul I missed my little brother so bad,