I'm struggling today!!! I'm on my 5th day sober and really want a drink. On Monday, the last day I drank, I hurt someone that I really care about. I just want the pain of hurting him to go away.
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You hitting meetings?
I'm going to my first one tonight
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Awesome!! You have the everything AA app?
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That's great you're starting your sober journey Lisa! I have found AA to be very helpful to me. Stick with it!
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No, but I'll look into it. Thank you
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It’s not going to be easy, but you have to try and spin it. Yes you did something that caused pain. That’s in the past. You can learn from it (and keep on this journey) or you can run from it and probably repeat the same or worse mistakes. Did I loosely quote lion king? Yes, but the lesson is 
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Immediately hit your knees and pray surrender give it to God no matter what
You can do this...one day at a time!!!!
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I hurt so many people, in so many ways when I was in active use. I jumped head first into AA when I got sober and it’s the reason why I’ve mended relationships with the people I’ve hurt. Taking the steps with my sponsor got me to Step 9 where I had the support of the sponsor, the freedom and weight lifted from 4 and 5, to make my amends to those people I hurt.
Don’t give up! The cliche “it gets better” “everything works out in the end” is FACTS! I hated when people said that to me, but once I started taking the steps I realized how true those words are.
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You’ve gone through some of the toughest days already. Each day gets one day easier!
Keep going and go to daily meetings, especially early on….it helps. You don’t have to agree with everything or even like it at first. Go and listen
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I suggest seeing if there's a celebrate recovery near you. Better than aa at least for me anyways. Proud of you though. Keep going stay strong.
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If crying is necessary, let them flow. . .
I would suggest Twinkies if the crying persists. Try chugging a really bubbly beverage and see how big a burp you can handle. Passing by the liquor store is a big trigger, especially for me personally. Maybe take a walk with a close friend.
Just be heckin strong. XOXO
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I love meetings and I am just trying to do what has worked for so many others. If you can't get to a meeting use zoom. Read the book and try to apply it to your life. Plenty of us out here struggling with you. I'm at 87 days today. Hang in there you can do this.
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Keep reaching out and praying to your higher power for guidance
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Thank you! Just went to my first meeting tonight and I think I'm hooked! Already looking for more meetings to attend.
Thank you everyone for your kindness and support. Really means a lot.
Play the tape out that means what will happen if you do pick up a drink what are the consequences?
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By showing by your actions that you have changed will heal his pain. My husband was very upset after my last relapse, it took some time, but we are better than ever. Remember that it will get better and better, you're for sure in the rough of it right now 
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@lisa379969 Had the thought ever entered your mind to go to the individual you hurt and apologize for the harm you did to them? You're going to have to do it sooner or later. You might as well do it sooner than later. Clean your side of the street and keep it clean at all times.