In all the apps I’ve tried, I always see the same posts. People have said they hate who they are when they’re under the influence. My problem is, I love who I am when I’m drinking. I’m more fun, more outgoing. When I’m drinking, I feel more ‘normal’. I am outspoken and funny. I dance and sing and act how most people act when they’re sober. I don’t overthink every. single. thing I say and do.
On the flip side, I am more impulsive. Reckless. I wake up with hangxiety and regret. Help!!! 
Ha sounds like me but I’ll take sober over drunk fun me these days
In both scenarios alcohol is making you act differently. You can’t pick and choose the positive behaviors which are “normal” and which are not to justify your drinking. If you want to sing and dance then you need to be ok with reckless and anxious. Obviously this won’t work. I’m sure you’re fine just the way you are. Give it a chance.
We are never as awesome as we think we are when we are drunk.
I don’t know. I think I’m pretty cool KIDDING 
I know when I’m sober, I’m bitchy, anxious (especially in social situations), easily annoyed. When I’m buzzed (at the least), I really am fun.
Right, when you're sober, you're all those things because you wish you weren't sober.
I totally get it though. Addiction is total mind fückery.
And no truer words were said.
It works until it doesn’t. That is the problem
That’s a big problem
Made me feel like Superman then one day it didn’t
Not gonna lie. Some moments I loved. I enjoyed being the party. Until it got to a hit or miss, more miss overtime showing my a!!. I have eventually come to that hit, without alchol. It's really up to you. Not hear to say what you need to do. You'll get there and decide. Hope that helps some.
Thank you. I totally get that.
If you can't do AA, there's amazing other groups out there. Some you meet up rock climb, volleyball ect. I did AA for a year. Helped alot, I need more than coffee, hang and smoke, ect. Not knocking AA, was my stepping stone. I found what fitted my life. So maybe look to see what fits you.
Unfortunately I am from a very small town and there are no meetings close enough for me to get to. I really wish there was because I think an in-person meeting would do me a lot of good.
Try Smart Recovery, it's online, but you choose group. From addiction trauma ect.
You gotta try something. If you don't like. Delete lol. At least u tried.
Thanks
For me thinking I was better off drinking or more “me” is my disease lying to me. It tries to get me to think I am not enough as just “me”. I bet Shari you are enough as-is without any drink or drug. Thanks for sharing your truth.
That means a lot. Hits hard. Perspective is the word of the day.
You’re welcome. Perspective and perception amen. How we perceive yourselves can lead us to the good or the bad, is better when we see ourselves as enough as-is and move in directions to make ourselves “better” in ways we know we need work. And drinking never makes us better, always robbed me of being fully present.