It’s so hard on days I want to just run away and be numb like I used to…to not just sit outside and have a glass of wine. But I remember how much I hate myself the next day and it’s never been good to me. I’m super irritated today…I would probably say something I wouldn’t otherwise if I’d be sober. It’s such a struggle to let go of something I used for so much of my life as a coping mechanism… drink to be happy, to forget about something that irritates me, to relax and chill, something to do, etc. but I know how much more harm it has done to me and my relationships. It hurts and I get sad that it’s all I’ve known in a way. I’m happy with a great nights sleep and the positives I’ve experienced with being sober. Better abs, skin, thinking power, saves $$. I wish more of my past life and my family/friends/relationships spent less time around drinking bc I feel like I have to stay away from people friends family that I used to enjoy being around drinking bc that’s all I know with them. I dont have any desire to go on family vacations like i used to bc they all consist of drinking. It’s like I’ve gotta start a new life. Kind of breaks my heart. Just feeling a little down today and irritated with stuff. But don’t want to drink again… the struggle is real for sure. I do enjoy going for walks being outside and such. Just feel alone often and isolated. My boyfriend drinks but supports me (wants me to not drink bc we’ve fought when I drank)… he even bought me NA ipa to have at his place. It actually tastes good and I’m ok with na beer. But just isn’t the same while he sips in his drinks and I’m wishing I could have the control others have when drinking so I could enjoy it like them. But I’ve shown myself I can’t. Anyway… just feeling a little down today.
Sounds like somebody I used to know…me! At least you’re being honest about it! I think that’s a great start to processing this whole new reality you’re facing. I lied to myself for so many years telling myself I was happy to sit and watch everyone else “have fun” while I watched. I did that for over 25 years. All the parties, concerts, weddings, vacations etc..truth is it really suck€d! I’ll tell you what I’ve learned from my experience. This time I’m not doing it alone. This time I’ve made real sober friends. I’ll go out with some of our old couple friends, but I’m also making plans with sober friends. I’ve dragged my wife to some open meetings and introduced her to some of my friends. She has become friends with them and their significant others as well. We try and mix things up so that I can enjoy a fun evening that doesn’t include drinking and smoking weed.
Meetings are a great place to meet friends. I believe building a support group of friends is a very important part of a happy and healthy recovery. Just my .02. Pretty cool you are aware o the issue and looking for support. Keep being open and honest
That’s great thank you for sharing!! I do need to find some sober friends and new things to do with people. I agree… sitting back and watching is not enjoyable at all!!! If anything makes it worse and I feel sad like I’m missing out on all the fun.., I’m like the boring one now… I feel like my friends didn’t invite me out the other day for dinner bc I don’t drink anymore
I felt the same way, but now I’m glad to be away. I find people who are drinking to be a little annoying. I can also see lots of mental health problems and the self-medicating and feel sorry for them. I call my drinking years my “wasted” years. I can get a hit off of donuts or cookies instead. 
I am in a very similar place. I am really really new to this journey, but it’s something I have thought about for a long time and want really make an effort this time. I am also sick of feeling terrible, mentally and physically after a night of drinking. If I am honest with myself, it has never added anything positive to my life. But I am also really nervous of all the things I’ll be missing out on. Drinking is a huge part of my family and my friends. I’m nervous I won’t be able to stick with this because of that. I can’t offer much advice at this point. But I understand how are you feeling. Feel free to message me to talk!
It is a struggle and where I’m at too. Everything I’ve done with family includes booze lined up on the counter talking about what drink we are having next. Finding new things to do helps. I really miss it but in same boat… my health and mental well being needs me to stop. I wish I could be one to Judy enjoy a drink on a weekend and be ok. But unfortunately it runs in my family and we’ve stayed up late getting tanked playing card games etc… being silly and laughing about it. I’d be the first to pass out. That’s in my past now
Same exact situation for me. And there are many times when I could enjoy a few drums but a lot times where I can’t and the detriments of those times far surpass the enjoyment of the times I could control it. Hopefully our friends and family will understand and we will find new ways of enjoying ourselves but it’s definitely a journey.
I’m here to chat anytime!!!
Thanks everyone for sharing, so many similar and shared experiences. Great reminder we are not alone on this path and we can learn from and support each other.
Wow thank you Shannon because what you wrote is my story. I have almost 19 months and feel very lonely especially now with the beautiful weather because I miss all the places we used to go to and sit outside and drink. I also don’t go to family gatherings drinking is very much a part of the whole thing. My nephew has full bars inside and outside and I Don’t trust myself. I loved to drink but it got to the point that it totally took control of my life. My husband thank god does not bring alcohol into the house but he also doesn’t under what I go through either. He really is my biggest trigger. When I get tempted I just reach out to all my sober friends but, unfortunately they all live in other states. Haven’t connected with sober friends in my state. I thank god for these sites. I do this One Day At a time. It’s the only way. Stay strong. We can do this together.
Thank you for sharing!! It’s nice to hear others are going through the same.
My sobriety gets harder and harder but don’t want to die, so will reach out and keep going. Yes it was good to read your post. 
Thanks for ur honesty. I feel the same way. I’ve come to terms w not being able to have any relationship w alcohol but it’s hard w friendships and family. It seems to them as if I’ve pulled away or I think I’m better or too good for it. Some have been super supportive while others are sad for me. It is lonely. They think sober people aren’t any fun and I’m thinking drunk people aren’t any fun. And really annoying! Like you, I’m sticking to sobriety. No question. I’ve finally gotten my health back, physically but mentally too. I’m never getting back in the merry go round of relapse. I’m trying to include my drinking people that I have strong and healthy relationships w in activities like walking, yoga, meeting for coffee or shopping trips. It’s hard but u have to b creative and look for the good in people and experiences. Try things u never thought u could or would while drinking. I’m running my first marathon in a few weeks. Keep challenging yourself and you’ll find new seasons of life and new people to share them with. Best of luck! You are not alone 
Thank you!!! I agree. Best of luck with your marathon!!!!!! You’ll crush it!!! Much more than most people can and are willing to do
Best of luck in you marathon
Thank u! No way I would have been able to attempt it while still drinking. Every step is a blessing!
Thank you!
Thanks for sharing and being honest. You just started a great conversation that has helped a lot of people. I love how getting real is how it works. No bs just experience, strength, and hope. Keep doing what works!
It’s amazing when you are in recovery you don’t look at the people from your past the same way. Sometimes I get jealous when they post pictures showing drinking and having fun. Being honest. But I also realizing that that’s all I had in common with them including family members because everything was a big party. I know this is the right thing to do but I also know it gets brutal sometimes. My brother was 33 when he had no liver left and died the color of a lemon from drinking. I also had a friend bleed out and die in his car from alcohol I firmly believe that’s what keeps me going. Because I know it wouldn’t take long for me to end up that way. I just wish I had more understanding from certain people like my husband. But then again he thinks I will be cured someday.
It’s like you took the words right out of my mouth! I’m looking forward to making connections with sober friends, I even have some already! BUT…not feeling comfortable around my immediate family while they’re all intoxicated or high, I’d incredibly hard.