There's plenty of things they don't warn you about when you start your journey into sobriety, one thing I wish I was better prepared for was just how lonely it is. I can't even get a date because as soon as I mention something other than a bar to meet I miraculously get ghosted, again. Can't even talk to my therapist because she dumped me as a patient because I "made such good progress already I didn't need her help anymore" I can't afford a place by myself and nobody will have me as their roommate because I don't want booze in the house. I'm thankful that I've been able to stay sober through all of this. But at what point is it just not worth it anymore? Why continue to work on myself when it just goes unnoticed and nearly punished? I am not religious so please keep God out of the comments.
Don’t get discouraged!
You are doing the right thing who care if ppl notice but I get it it’s nice to be seen but remember who ur doing it for YOU nobody else.. and try n rent a room if u have to with maybe a door to jus ur room where u can come and go as u please
I get it TJ. Oh do I get it. Continue doing activities you enjoy, hobbies, etc. You’ll make connections. Just have to keep putting yourself “out there.” Sobriety is absolutely worth it. Don’t doubt that at all….
I hear ya TJ, I’m coming up on a year and I struggle with the isolation and loneliness outside of the house. It’s still better than my old lifestyle.
TJ try the sober dating app- I believe it’s on here. Might meet a nice person to talk with about life. It gets easier man just rent a room and hit meetings you’ll find some like minded friends.
I feel like you’re fighting yourself with staying sober. It can be a lonely ride but how would you rather have it? Under substances that’ll take control of your life? But also, who I to say that too? I struggle myself with the same feeling of “is it worth it”?
You just need a friend to talk too. We will struggle no matter what with our addictions. You’re not alone in this.
Acceptance and Gratitude have been the foundation of my recovery. When things aren't going so well, it used to be so easy to complain and drink. Now I do the opposite and I'm a lot happier.
TJ, change the people you're surrounding yourself with. I was not even sober for 6 months and my job had many social events and it took me 6 months before I finally told
my fellow employees I am in recovery and half the office emailed me, over 200 people, all telling me they are in the program too and I felt safe but I needed to trust myself before I could trust anyone else. There's nothing wrong with taking a date out to a classy bar and grabbing a ginger ale, I have been in the same situation and the women I dated admired me for wanting to present the best of me but you don't have to go to a bar...I love taking potentials to the art institute, or the aquarium, or architecture tour, or a Cubs or Hawks game, or even a nice walk along the beach where I then allow my date to choose where we go. I think you're overthinking it and I completely understand but one thing that I can confidently say is abstaining from alcohol has not affected my social life even remotely...I don't have to apologize for being stupid, and I can observe others doing what I used to do and one thing is always the same; the gals they're with are miserable, upset with how obnoxious their significant others are being, and wishing so bad that they had a guy like you. Women aren't nearly as judgemental and shallow as men and most just want a responsible guy who can be respectful, funny, and secure in addition to kind and compassionate and alcohol depletes those qualities.
Don't give up buddy. Everything will turn out better than you imagined.
All the best,
You up until 11 years ago
It never goes unnoticed. Those who matter won’t mind and those that mind don’t matter!
Stay strong
You lose a lot of people when you get sober who you thought were your friends and then you learn how strong you really are and believe me when I say it’s lonely but if they can’t understand that then there not meant to be in your life anymore, you have to do what’s best for you and nobody else no matter what 
Life on life’s terms, TJ, not yours. Sucks now, but it will get better.
It’s definitely more difficult to maintain a social life but it’s not impossible. Before I quit drinking I had a lot of “friends,” but since I got sober only the real ones have stuck around. It does hurt to see the people go when you decide to make a change to better yourself, but you find out who really has your best interests at heart.
Society has done a great job of dramatizing recovery. It's unfortunate that this community relies on hyperboles, anictdotes, and canned responses to mask the real side effects that you're experiencing.
I consider what you're explaining "side effects" of sobriety. So I do believe it's natural and important to question if the side effects are worse than your ailment. I'm sure many of us have had medication that we've stopped because of this. Why wouldn't we think similarly with alcoholism?
For me, I'm sober 1+ year. My alcoholism ruined every relationship I was in. Alcohol caused me to lose my career of 20+ years, it caused me to lose my son. It caused ongoing mental and medical issues that I am forced to accept on a daily basis. For me sobriety isn't about what I don't have, but it's about what I do still have and what I could still lose.
Good luck! You're feelings are valid, and I hope you can see sobriety, while not perfect, is a better life than allowing alcohol to ruin your life.
No, they don’t warn you that you may lose some friends. You may be lonely at times but what the heck we lost friends when we were drinking we lost friends and we’re lonely. If I’m gonna lose a friend today I would like to be stone cold, sober, and know what went wrong and be able to deal with it instead of saying what the F and continue drinking, losing so much more.! yes, it’s hard dating wise unless you find somebody in the program or somebody who does not drink as much and it’s OK with your situation there are people who just don’t drink and there’s a great big world out there. I hope you have a blessed day. Stay strong.
TJ I feel you in your struggles, hang in there, your recovery is truly important. 5 days I will have 4 yrs. I’ve had 2 times that I wanted to go out. I played the tape over and over. Asked myself is it really worth it. I am worth it!!You are worth it!!! Have faith and know God has a plan, it’s his timing not yours find that circle of friends and learn to trust those people. Take suggestions and take time to listen, plug into your program everyday even those days you don’t feel like it, that’s when you need it the most. Praying 
for you. Cindy 
Hey there! I feel your discouragement. There are many of us out there who know how you feel! Look how far you have come! Check out sober dating sites. Definitely find a new therapist. I suggest Cerebral. They are fantastic! Good luck and know you truly are NOT alone.
What are you doing to build a sober community around you? Yes all of these things naturally happen whenever a person makes a radical change in lifestyle, recovery or not. It’s a CB part of the journey that you will be able to warn the newcomers someday and tell them how to navigate it to a good life. You just have to do the work to make it better now for your sobriety, health and a new reasonably happy lifestyle
I like making friends in the gym.