Unfortunately depression hits differently when a person is sober. However, as you suggested being sober allows a person the ability to properly heal rather than kicking the can down the road with alcohol. It’s pretty rough at first but it gets better and better, stick with it.
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I know they not to isolate but that’s all I want to do right now.
Honestly I used to hate AA! When I was court ordered and had to go. But now I get to go. And I'm kinda shy when it comes to meeting new people. But if I didn't have the fellowship of AA I would be one lonely dude!
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Oh self sabotage is a tough go I figured out that the chaos was what I was seeking and it happened for me because I didn’t like feeling that I didn’t know what they were so going to the normal state of chaos was a place of comfort to me. Still struggle with it time to time. It will get better tho with gods will and guidance we can live a normal life
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Alcohol leads to depression, get clean, walk, workout, then talk to as many former drunks that you handle.. we all love you.. get right.it all comes together.
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I definitely need a support system because all my friends drink. They are so confused as to why I want to quit. They don’t understand how toxic I am when I’m drunk. So I need to be around people who understand. I planning on going to some meetings.
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That definitely what I need.
We all have a different path and some of your old friends will change, some won’t. But what other people think of me is none of my business. You have made a healthy choice and you don’t need to look back unless it helps you in the present.
Are your drinking friends true friends, Liz, I wonder, or drinking buddies?
I drank to cope with emotions. The truth truly is that drinking doesn’t only numb the hard emotions but the good ones too. I realized that my depression and anger and hurt, all made worse by alcohol, were trying to tell me something. They were telling me I was settling for a life that I wasn’t happy in. The guilt and the shame from drinking kept me stuck from moving on in life. Take action instead! You will start to feel proud of yourself and that feeling will lead to trust in yourself and your life will change for the better. Be brave enough to let it.
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That’s a question, I have to really think hard about.
Thank you, that is exactly how I feel. Thank you for sharing that. It’s really nice to know that others feel the same way and I’m not alone in this battle, not only with my addiction but with life.
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I got high so I would feel or think about anything. I totally understand. Try talking in meetings about what your feeling - it’s helps to get it out.
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Thank you!
Yes, but at 58 days it’s leveling out with only the occasional down.
AA has worked wonders for me and I’m so appreciative. I just celebrated my 30days a few days ago and I feel great despite still coparenting in the same home with my wife, who’s divorcing me. I immersed myself in the program and immediately found a great sponsor. What i had to do first was forgive myself for my role in how things have become and accept my situation. I had to do that before progressing through the first few steps of the program. I got back in the gym, which does wonders for my self confidence and emotional health! My advice to you would be to work your steps! You deserve to be happy 
I’m glad I came across this post. I literally just posted something in the lines of this. I felt really depressed in the beginning. It went away for a while. I too sabotage everything always. A year and 4 months later and now I’m depressed again. I turned to this app here to try and help myself get out of that depression hole again before I self sabotage and disappear again. If I disappear this time I will be in a lot of trouble because of probation so I don’t want to mess that up. I don’t know what to do and I feel stuck right now. What I do know is I can get through this by talking about it. If I can get through withdrawals multiple times then I can overcome this. Stay strong and I’m glad you came to this app. You just helped me a lil without even knowing it
Of course. Getting sober isn’t easy. All the feels, regrets, path of destruction left behind who wants to relive that?!! But that’s where to start. Write it all down then write down your amends. Tell the loved one you hurt I’m sorry and ask for forgiveness. They may or may not give you what you want but you did what you could. You may have to walk away from people that aren’t good for you. I did. Lots of them. Also not fun. I’m 16 years sober and my daughter started treatment 2 weeks ago. My son died 2 years ago by suicide from his addiction and not letting it go. I can tell you the struggle gets easier and the work is difficult but in the end it’s all worth knowing you love yourself enough and above everyone else to take care of you. When you go to bed the only person that matters is you. The only person’s opinion of you that matters is yours. F the rest of them because nobody can take care of you like you can and nobody will ever be able to know you better than you.
How are you feeling Liz?
This is certainly not an easy road, but so rewarding. These are the feelings that you feel when you get into recovery. Before, when those feelings crept up, the bottle easily cured it. I've been doing CBT and it's actually been really great. There are some great apps out there. Also...meetings and sponsorship are great helps.