I celebrated 18 months of sobriety earlier this month, right on the heels of finding my long term boyfriend relapsed. This is his second relapse in 5 months, and I honestly didn’t see this one coming. When I found him drunk, I also discovered he’s been cheating on me with other women. Since that day, which was about 3 weeks ago, he was taken to rehab again. I have not heard a word from him since. No explanation for the cheating. No discussion about what happened to cause relapse. I am constantly reading page 417 in the BB, have upped my meetings, and am reaching out to sober supports. I just wanted to share this because I find myself playing what he said to me when I found him over and over in my head - that I drove him to drink and cheat. I know that’s not true. I just don’t know what to make of all this, other than he’s still sick and suffering. We still have two cats together and my furniture is still at his house. Thanks for reading and if you have any suggestions, I am more than open to them.
I don’t have advice to offer but just wanted to reaffirm the part where you said you know it’s not your fault he drank and cheated. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU COULD HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY TO PREVENT THE CHOICES HE MADE. Sorry for the all-caps, just wanted to make sure in case there was any little voice inside of you saying otherwise, that it was heard 
your sobriety comes first. But you know that already too. I’m sorry you’re going through all this and I hope whatever you decide to do, it leads you to peace and an abundance of love. Sending strength and serenity your way 
I’m sorry, this is painful.
Alanon? Friends and family of alcoholics?
Some good books out there… codependent no more. Teaches how to take care of ourselves, detaching, boundaries stuff like that.
That looping self talk sucks. Suspicion, trust issues.. a lot of stuff, been there. Take care of you. 
4Also the serenity
Thank you so much! I appreciate the reminder too. I’m going to walk away and choose sobriety and me over this dumpster fire. Thank you again!
Thank you Leigh Ann. My sponsor also recommends Alanon so I think it’s time to check that out.
Let go with love. My sponsor always told me that I don’t want to be a distraction to someone trying to find recovery. Relationships, especially romantic kind, are probably toughest thing to manage in sobriety. That’s why the chapters to wives and family in the book after chapter 7 or 12th step.
Yes! Thank you
It sounds like you have a lot going on.it is great you are staying sober through all of this.that alone shows how strong your commitment to your sobriety is.i hope you don't feed into any of the excuses your are told and I sure hope you don't take on any guilty or blame for someone else's choices.you are one strong woman.you have come so far in your own personal growth.please don't allow anyone to take that from you.you shouldn't have to be fighting someone else's demons for them while you are fighting your own.please remember to put yourself and your program before anyone else's.
You can do bad by yourself…. There’s NEVER a good excuse for cheating. You deserve better. Wishing you luck.
Thank you
Will definitely take that suggestion. Thank you for your supportive words
I too just had my fiancé relapse and we live together.
It’s a nightmare and totally heartbreaking. Please message me if you’d like to talk thanks for sharing and helping me to not feel so alone.
Messaging you right now.
I HATE the blame that others throw out for THEIR behavior. Ugh. Grinds my gears. Wishing you the best. 
No disrespect to you personally, but if you tolerate someone who betrays your trust in a such a vile manner over a couple cats and some furniture, I would be taking a long look in the mirror and deeply reflecting on where in life you determined this was an acceptable way to be treated. You deserve to be loved and cared for in a way that honors your authentic self, and that reciprocates the love you put out into the world. This is a supportive community and I know everyone wants to be encouraging, but let’s get real. The behavior you’re describing is sophomoric and childish and certainly does not merit your time or attention. Grab the cats and head to IKEA.
It's a disease people. Just you an God's will
Yes to all that. I set up a moving company for this weekend and am in the process of figuring out how to proceed with the kitties. Thank you for the real talk. I’m all about it.
Check some Al-anon meetings for people who love the Alcoholic or Addict
Thank you
An still love them