My relationship of 10 years imploded after I stopped drinking and doing cocaine. I had a feeling that might happen because he was and still is very much an alcoholic and is trying to stop doing coke but, unsuccessfully. I know this is for the best, I just never thought it would come to this. Ive tried to give him opportunities to make it work, but he’s decided to choose alcohol and other “fun” girls over our relationship after all the time we spent together. It hurts so much. We’ve known each other since we were 13, he’s always been my best friend. We both partied a lot when we got together 10 years ago, but cocaine didn’t enter the picture until 2020…and F that shite. I barely got away from it, and it cost me my relationship. The person I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. I still wake up and hope it’s all a bad dream. I wish we had never touched that stupid drug.
But I guess if I never found the strength to give up cocaine I may have never even attempted to believe I was strong enough to ditch alcohol. I’m so glad I did, and I’m really f*cking proud of myself. But sometimes I wonder if I just went back to it all, would my life go back to normal?
But what would normal be? It would just get worse and worse.
You showed tremendous strength and courage getting sober. Congratulations! It isn't always easy, but it's worth it. Hang in there.
Congratulations on your sobriety:heart:
Thank you for sharing💕 your story sounds so similar to mine
Hang in there...You got this!
Thank you so much:pray:
I know it’s not the life I want to live, it’s just crazy how 10 years unraveled so fast. I’m still in the process of finding a new place to live, splitting up our things, deciding what to do with our two fur babies, so I think sometimes it just seems easier to go back to pretending everything was okay. Even though it wasn’t.
But I’m determined. I’ve never been this motivated to stay sober before, I just wasn’t ready for what came with it😞
Thank you Tamara! Same to you!!
I lost my boyfriend after 11 years because I got sober and he wasn’t ready and he still isn’t I tried for almost 4 years to make the relationship work but all that did was cause him to lie to me over and over again, I can’t tell you how much it hurts but I can tell you that I’m mad at myself for putting myself through all that stress it took me a long time to realize that you can’t make someone quit if they’re not ready it’s a hard lesson to learn but I’m stronger because of it and you will be too 
Ugh the lying is unbearable😔 he doesn’t hide his drinking but he does try to hide cocaine and the other women he starts little flings with (he’s never physically cheated but loves the dopamine rush and attention he gets from meeting new girls and will start texting them/meeting up with them behind my back for weeks to keep that feeling going) somehow the truth always finds its way to me, and I don’t understand why he won’t just be honest if it always comes out eventually anyway. It hurts so much more finding out the hard way.
Thank you so so much for sharing your story and encouragement Tina🥹:heart: I know of course that I can’t be the only one who's gone through something like this, but it’s so good to hear from other people who have experienced similar situations and come out better for it on the other side:pray:
I’m glad that I was able to help out have a good day today
Congratulations on your progress. Im proud of you too! There's someone out there who will make you feel comfortable and safe without being around drugs or alcohol. You deserve the best and shouldn't settle for less.
Very sad. Hoping your progress and silver lining that is looming over the clouds doesn't get pushed away.
I know this can be difficult from experience. But, in the end you have to take care of yourself before you can ever hope to help anyone else.
Hello Lolly, sounds like a very intense time, congratulations on sticking to your guns and keeping drugs away. Here's to an ever changing for the better new normal!
Hang in there Lolly! It's amazing the things we can overcome and adapt to in this new sober life. Just keep doing the next right thing and things will keep falling into place for you
It gets better with time
I got sober at the end of my first marriage. Like you, I said it was for the best. But what I realized after I did some work on myself in the process of getting sober was that the ending of that relationship was for the best BUT not just for my sobriety but for ME as a person. Fast forward 12 years. The ending of another relationship. Still “for the best” still not for sobriety because I stayed sober. I just stopped doing the work. When push came to shove I didn’t have the tools to deal with adversity because I gave up working on myself for that relationship. There’s a reason AA coins say -To thine own self be true.
That might have been who you were but it’s not who are anymore so that person no longer aligns with you, and that’s ok. In the last couple of months I’ve basically let go of everything that I’ve known, and every weekend is hard but I can no longer do that to myself because that’s not who I am anymore. I’ve been in the music/party scene for 20+ years and sometimes I struggle to know what to do with myself since every weekend it was about booze, coke and music, but I’m figuring it out. It gets lonely not having friends but I know I will make new healthy ones, I just have to continue on this path and if I do that I will attract the things that align with the new me. It will get better! Currently also going through a break up so I feel you. Keep your head up, we got this!
My story is a little different. I hid the amount that I drank. One day when things were more out in the open she told me, she couldn’t sit there and watch me drink myself to death. It took a little time but I got sober. But not for myself. The more details she learned about my drinking, the more distant she got. My mental was still a mess. In February of last year I started to work on myself and my sobriety. 2 weeks after I made a year sober, she left. I was devastated. By the grace of God and the sober support I had, I stayed sober but still messed up in the head. At 15 months, it is like a fog was lifted off of me. Since that time I have grown tremendously. I have a better understanding of how things were and how we were no longer good for each other. We were together 18 years married 16. I hate when people say it just takes time. I am proof that it’s true. I had to grow a lot and left my brain recover from all of the abuse. I never believed divorce an option. In 3 months it will happen and I have grown to accept it without drinking. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. You got this.
Life will never be the same... It'll be better
Lolly do t go back to that life!!! Much like you my alcoholic ways and me taking Adderall like it was candy is the reason the love of my life left me and decided to find comfort in another man. My wife left me 193 days ago and Ive been sober for 191. Im not telling you that not using and drinking is going to be easy but it’s worth it, every step of the way Ive wanted to numb this pain, I k ow if I made that choice I would be dead or in jail for the rest of my life. Things that have changed for the better since I quit drinking and using, the relationship with my 3 beautiful children, it’s made this pain that I’m in manageable to continue this journey. There is so much more to life, don’t let one person take that from you, and this is coming from a guy that found out that hi ex wife is engaged to the guy she had an affair with. Hang in there, if I can make it through this you can!!!
“… other women he starts little flings with (he's never physically cheated but loves the dopamine rush and attention he gets from meeting new girls and will start texting them/ meeting up with them behind my back.”
this is cheating:point_up:t3: