Do you tell people you’re sober before meeting up? Or do you just go and order… not booze? This is new territory for me
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Best advice I can give would be to make sure you are ready. Are you able to go out and not drink if the other person is partaking? Are you able to date someone who drinks but doesn’t consider themselves an alcoholic? It’s tricky! It’s your business if you want to be open about being sober or not, but be very careful for those who don’t support it or take it seriously.
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Yeah I do not mind others drinking around me. I think I am projecting. Before I got sober, you know, since I am an alcoholic, I would have NEVER gone out with someone who doesn’t drink. I guess that’s not the norm.
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You always want to make sure you're on the same page. Text a little get to know them don't tell them your life story just yet , but get them to understand you don't drink or drug and are looking for the same kind of person....I hope this helps Good luck ...
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Thank you !
I don’t mind others drinking around me neither, but I couldn’t date someone who still drinks. In my opinion it’s just not healthy or worth it. I dated a guy who said he didn’t drink either… Turned out he was closet alcoholics, dragged me down with him and then nearly killed me in front of my son. Never again. You’ll know when you know! And if you don’t, use it as a learning experience! Keep YOU first and it’ll all pan out.
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I prefer to lay the cards on the table, no shame.
They either understand and support, or they don’t. Saves time and energy going forward.
Would rather be alone than not accepted.
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I always say I’m a sober person
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I’m married, so take this with a grain of salt lol. It’s my understanding that there’s a little back and forth before you decide to meet up. I think it would be appropriate at that time to ask Mr Potential if he’s compatible with someone who prefers not to drink alcohol, and who prefers to limit their time hanging out with people who “party” a lot. Being sober is not a crime and is nothing to be ashamed of. In reality, it’s us that are screening them to make sure we don’t have issues down the road. My brain knows this. I wish my feelings matched what I know to be the truth. Instead I feel awkward and uncomfortable sharing this info. As if we are some kind of freaks or social outcasts. Screw this disease
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Ashley you've received a ton of great advice here from women. I recommend a YouTube channel called Crappy childhood fairy. If you came from a childhood where you might have been neglected or abused. I know I was. It effects our boundaries and what we allow in our lives. If you were blessed with a healthy childhood Alanon can give us alcoholics in Recovery a great deal of healthy boundaries concerning taking care of ourselves while in or pursuing relationship. I hope you have fun dates and take care of You. Peace
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I’m always honest. I just say that I don’t drink anymore. They can take it or leave it. Nothing good should be forced anyways.
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I say I don’t drink. If I’m asked why I say it doesn’t do me any favors. That seems to be enough.
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I personally won’t kick it with drinkers. So I ask first.
I say no thanks if they offer again say u can’t afford my tab… haha
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That’s actually funny. So far I’ve chosen to meet ppl at places I know have a good spirit-free menu… but I’m running out of places
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Yes I do say so, I think it’s something you ships be proud of
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I say yeah, let them know. Since my first adventure into dating as a sober person just ended, I’m thinking it’s gonna be pretty important for me to find someone on the sober/growth/recovery path as well.
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Thanks for asking the question that was on my mind. I'm gonna read everyone's advice. Maybe it will help me out because I'm lonely and need a female friend to talk to that's clean and sober....
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For Me, I would be as transparent as possible. Before meeting.
I’m right there with you 
. I usually tell them in conversation that I don’t drink .. I don’t go into detail I just tell them it’s not for me . If that’s an issue for them then I just tell them I don’t think we are a good fit . I really feel them out before meeting . I went to coffee with a guy a couple weeks ago . I’m 34 and that was my first sober date 
. I relied heavily on drinking when I would meet guys due to my insecurities. It went ok but I think I still need more time . To work on myself in sobriety .. I found myself wishing I had a drink to take the edge of before he showed up at the coffee shop . That was a red flag for myself to reel it back in . Trust your gut that’s my best advice 
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