For some reason I decided to drink on Valentine’s Day with my boyfriend (potential ex). Although he knew I was trying to stay sober he didn’t mind if I had a couple glasses of wine. For me, a couple glasses of wine won’t cut it. I had been sober since new years and thought I would be able to stop. After a wonderful dinner and love filling the room I blacked out and started screaming at him and completely ruined the night. I left his house leaving him upset. I didn’t come to until the next morning completely confused on what happened. He took it very personally and is most likely going to leave me.. he needed space from me so I decided to drink again to feel better. The same thing happened but I lashed out at friends also. I’m lucky to have accepting friends in my life that know my struggle with alcohol. They didn’t take it personally and made sure I was okay. My partner on the other hand has never seen this side of me fully. I’m hoping he can see me for who I am instead of the monster that drinks. I stayed sober for over a month, I’m sure I can continue on this journey even with a relapse.
This is basically why Im here. Drinking has been ruining relationships for me since I've started drinking 15 years ago. I always made excuses, quit for months at a time but always came back. I'm dating this guy now who is pretty great but he's seen my alcoholic tendencies alot throughout our relationship (blacking out, being belligerent, being nasty to him). Sadly a couple weeks ago, while on vacation no less, i got so drunk and angry, I hit him. It's been rough since and I'm shocked he didn't leave me honestly, but I have to stop now. For myself and for the people in my life that i care about. Let's do it together!
It’s so strange because it’s such a switch from my normal behavior. I’d love to talk to you more about this.
Feel free to message me. Your post really resonated with me.
Messaged 
Ooph. Resonates a lot with me too. Blacking out, spiraling into a hurting and hateful girl who’s capable of throwing/breaking things, hurting myself and others and waking up the next day not having a clue what happened. 17 months sober now and I wouldn’t go back to drinking for the world. Even for all the good times. The bad ones just aren’t worth it.
Who brought the wine?
I relapsed four months ago and I haven’t had a drink since . In someways my relapse was the best thing that happened to me because it solidified the fact that I can’t just have a couple drinks even thou this disease tries to play tricks on me and make me
Think I can drink like everyone else . Don’t beat yourself up ! You are human and if anything take this as a learning experience you’ve got this 
. Take it one day at a time
Man things really start going bad when you just start going off on people just cuz you're drunk I hated that point it seemed like I could not drink without acting inappropriately towards everyone it was such a strange feeling it didn't happen every time but every time it happened I was drunk and then towards the end I was just nervous to take a drink even though I kept drinking cuz I knew some bad things were going to come out of my mouth and I was going to lose another friend it's horrible. The sad thing is is that as I got sober I still yelled at people
I asked if he’d mine if I had a glass or two and he encouraged it. Then went to the liquor store and got two bottles as requested by me. It’s definitely not his fault but I needed the reminder why I don’t drink.
You might need to work on yourself before you consider being in a relationship…. It’s not fair to your partner and yourself. Just my opinion but seek treatment go to AA meetings or something like it
Well no excuses now. You know , and he knows you can't drink. Need to make absolutely sure he recognizes this and doesn't enable you. I wasted 5 years of my 20s with an enabler....I really wouldn't recommend it. L
Here are two rules that may help you dry out:
- Having drinks is never an option or even close to a good idea
- People that don't practice rule 1 are not an option
I also recommend reading the entire Bible to fill your soul.
Welcome back 
Get sober for you.
I am with you I have the same issue, and I pray to the Lord that he can help us as people be in alcoholics. It’s a sickness that we fight in and we got it at the spirit of God to guide us to a better pet.
One day at a time. My valentines weekend was similar. You are not alone and don’t get down on yourself for a few bad days. Pick yourself up and keep looking forward. You got this
I’m the same way when I drink and have hurt a lot of close friends and family, some of whom won’t have anything to do with me even though as of today, I am 90 days sober. All you can do is apologize, atone by not drinking and putting your life back together with positive things and kindness, and let them see the change in you. They will come back to you if they really are true friends and care about you. If not, they probably shouldn’t be in your life in the first place.
Well, you know I never woke up the day after staying sober, regretting it, but I have woke up after relapsing and regretting it need to play the tape all the way through
I also relapsed a couple months ago and thanks to your post I'm able to free myself of my secret? I've been so ashamed because I couldn't bare to disappoint my family who have been so supportive of me? Thank you for giving me the courage to keep pushing forward.