I’m struggling with reaching out to anyone. I’ve kept up this mask of being strong for everyone else, including my own life problems. It hasn’t happened yet, but I know that my life will become unmanageable if I don’t take action now. I don’t think I can handle the look of disappointment I will get from my family, because once again this has happened. After 4 1/2 years in recovery, I threw it all away. I’ve been hiding it for almost 6 months now. I just want to stop.
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It is the hardest thing to ask for help. But your life is worth it. You didn’t throw it all away, because you’re here today. Do you have local in person support as well? Please feel free to add me and I’d be happy to message you. hugs
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Your disappointment with yourself can be your new starting point. Focus on yourself and not to the others! Love yourself before looking for love from others, including your family. Once you learn how to love and respect yourself, live from other will come naturally.
Keep working, stay on track, focus, and everything will be fine!
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Hugs n prayers.talking about it takes away it's power over us.
It also gives others the chance to step in n hold us up when we feel we're not worth it. I proud of you for just speaking up. That took a great deal of courage.
Now get over it. Get to work n deal with the wreckage when it's time.
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Im a trial lawyer. A Judge once told me after a terrible loss at trial that “You’re never as good as your best day. And you’re never as bad as your worst.” That thought has really stuck with me throughout the years. It has helped me with my struggles with alcohol. Don’t beat yourself up too much, but instead use this to motivate you to get back on the right track. Your success before this backslide is powerful evidence that you can be sober. It is a struggle. Get up off the ground, give yourself a break for being human, and take your life back from the darkness. You can do it. You know you can do it because you have a history of being a sober for a long time! Now, get back to the hard work that you know is so rewarding. Good luck, D
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There is no shame in a relapse.
The shame is in not coming back.
Surrender.
Prayers.
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Thank you all so much. I needed to hear every word that was written 🥹 Super grateful for this platform.
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I heard this great quote from C.S. Lewis, “True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it
is thinking of yourself less.” I’ve noticed that when I’m helping others with things I’ve already overcome there’s an indescribable feeling. I hope you start searching for this as well. 
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If you are new to recovery reach out every day and talk to someone else in recovery it works well I've been sober for a while and it kept me in recovery
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Yes! Being of service to others relieves the self-centered thinking that keeps us sick. I love that quote!
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This post is reaching out! I friended you lets get connected
Your not alone. I can completely relate. Feel free to message me at anytime I'd lobe to help in any way I can. Justin
There is no judgement from me !! Be super proud you made it 4.5 years a slip up is nothing to be ashamed for. Use it as a learning experience and what to look for in the future to prevent it from happening again. I'm so proud you reached out. I'm still learning this concept but try to focus on yourself and healthy goals. 
You've got this. Just for today program don't forget that, just take things one day at a time
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I sent you a friend request. Reach out anytime.
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Thank for your honesty. You are not alone !
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I've lost count of how many times I've slipped up! You haven't thrown it all away because you are here holding yourself accountable to this entire community. That takes COURAGE. Just breath and take it easy on yourself. You can start over just like I and so many others have. There is absolutely no shame in that! I'm truly proud of you for speaking your truth 
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You’re so not alone! I was a chronic relapse guy for too long. It actually made me stronger and wiser. It made me have the utmost respect for this disease alcoholism.
Once I truly made my program and sobriety my number one priority, then everything became easier. 15+ years sober, I’m grateful for all my challenges that made me stronger. These are now tools to help others.
Shame is a waste of my time! I learn from my mistakes and move forward.
You got this👍
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The fact that so many people here reached out in support of your struggles makes me smile from ear to ear! Highly motivating to know that none of us are alone if we simply reach out. Glad to be able to help in some small measure . . .
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You don't have anything to prove to ANYONE BUT YOURSEL... LET GO OF PRIDE AND SELF LOATHING AND GET INTO ACTION. PEOPLE RELAPSE. BUT THEY DON'T HAVE TO. RELAPSE NO LONGER HAS TO BE APART OF YOUR STORY. MAKE A COMMITMENT TO YOURSELF. STEP 1. WE ARE POWERLESS OVER ALCOHOL THAT OUR LIVES HAS BECOME UNMANAGEABLE... LOOK AT THE WORD LIVES. IT IS NOT SINGULAR BUT PLURAL... MEANING WE HAVE 5 LIVES... SPIRITUAL... MENTAL... PHYSICAL... BUSINESS/EMPLOYEE AND A FINANCIAL LIKE. THERE IS A ORDER TO THINGS. STAY IN THE PROCESS OF RECOVERY. YOU CAN DO THIS.
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You are not alone