Recommendations when a night out with friends feels like it's lasting forever. Since getting sober I've been trying to still continue to hang with my friends but I've been feeling guilty about always being the first to leave but without booze the nights seem 900 times longer than when drinking. Anyone have any tips or tricks that keep them motivated to stay put a little later with their friends without the booze? I'm not even talking like 1am, most times I'm tapping out by 9pm. I don't want to seem boring or disinterested but at a certain point chatting up just sitting at a bar top gets boring.
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Ahhhh, thing about getting sober is you have to change, everything. Sitting in a bar scenario is definitely a recipe for relapse. Have you tried making new friends who don’t hang out in bars?
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Hi Jamie, I don’t do the bar scene much anymore. I do other things with my friends and pass most times they do go out to the bar. I don’t think there is much to make a bunch of drunk people interesting to a sober person. My friends are understanding and don’t give me a hard time when I leave early, they know my sobriety comes first.
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Hi Jamie! Hanging out in bars listening to my drunk friends repeat the same stories over and over again as I watched the time on my watch get later and later…kinda sucked lol. I had to be open and honest with them about my sobriety. A few were very supportive and understood. It was difficult, but I made time to have lunch with them and play ball with them. As time progressed I did see them less and less, but they are still my friends. It’s difficult, but very necessary to make these changes. The fact that you are aware and uncomfortable is really a good sign. As Jenn said, your sobriety must come first. I did what Mr Bradford suggested. I went to meetings and met a few guys that I bonded with. They’ve become my sober buddies. It feels great to go out with sober friends, where alcohol consumption is not the main focus of the evening. We have great conversations and do many fun activities that don’t involve destroying our lives. It takes time. Be patient. You may have a few lonely moments, but that’s ok. Learn to be ok with being by yourself. Once you get good at it, you may cherish these quiet evenings 
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I really do need to get myself to some meeting to meet more sober
r friends. This far I only have one and we have been having a lot of fun together but I feel bad drifting from friends I've had since childhood. They're not like bad influences it's just me not enjoying those activities .
I to totally understand and have tried dating that way too. It doesn’t work for me, I never relapsed, but it wasn’t any fun. I agree with those above, it’s all about change, loneliness has been my biggest challenge but I’ve found it better than the alternative. I’m old and going out isn’t what it used to be, but for younger people I get it, but I don’t know what the answer is besides making new friends. It’s hard, I know.
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That's true I just need to get used to no longer being the last one standing. It's probably more on my head than them even caring if I head out earlier
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Yes I do need to expand my horizons with that and just get the courage to go to a meeting
That will have to be my goal for the new year
Completely understand about your old friends. We just kinda have to accept that circumstances have changed, and so have your priorities. We don’t have the luxury of hanging out and drinking anymore. It truly can be life or death with us. Eventually everyone drifts apart a little bit as boyfriends/husbands/families enter the picture. You can remain friends, and can share these milestones with them. OTOH, there is a whole new life out there waiting for you to enjoy. You are fortunate to have your old friends with new boundaries, while you meet and make new friends. It’s truly the best of both worlds
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Yea, it’s definitely a weird shift, I used to close the bars down and be the one figuring out where we are going after, now I’m the first one heading home. I love waking up hangover free though!
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Because sitting at a bar = BORING. Sitting at a bar listening to wasted people talk = F-ING MISERABLE. Find some more exciting activities and some more exciting friends.
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Sounds cliche I know and I hated when people told me this before I really understood the program. But hang in a barbershop long enough eventually you are going to get a haircut. I have a blast being sober now. Being around alcohol doesn’t bother me but to me it’s just not fun to go to bars. I go to patriot games. Went to see a band I liked once but if the outing is just about drinking and I’m not going to have fun i don’t feel like I’m missing out if I don’t go.
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Lol good to know I'm not alone in these feelings
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Exactly. I feel guilty in a way not enjoying it because they're my friends and I do enjoy their company but those settings just aren't for me. I don't think I ever really enjoyed them, I just drank to tolerate them
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Hey Jamie. When I first got sober i first built a sober crew and when I would meet friends who would drink I would bring one of my sober friends who were very strong in their sobriety. That gave me accountability and took all the pressure off. Slowly but surely I felt more and more comfortable and it didn’t matter whether people around me were drinking or not … but it did take a bit of time.
It takes a little time but you can get there. 
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That's a great idea, thanks MJ 
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It's a new way of life. I go late and leave early. I also let my sponsor know when I'm going out to the bars or clubs. He calls me every 2 hours. I javelin texted him to call earlier and use that as my way out when I'm ready to go.
Sorry my friend, but the bar scene & active drinking “friends”, you’re not going to succeed. Revisit old activities and hobbies. I’m confident new relationships will be made.
Jamie, skip the bar. If it's a band you want to see go with friends but there are plenty of musicians that play at coffee houses