known this guy for a week and we are now in a relationship it was like love at first sight.. I have major trust issues and relationship trauma but I’m lonely and love his validation and the fact that he has the same love language as me. I know it’s not the best time or circumstance to get into a relationship but it feels right.. any tips or advice or comments are much appreciated
Wish u the best of luck… do what feels right
I wouldn't. One of you stumbles and the chance increases that both of you fall. This is the time to be working yourself out. Eg: "but I'm lonely and love his validation".
Early sobriety is rough, but you can't properly focus on sobriety when you're focusing on a new relationship.
I have to agree with Joshua
I met my fiancé in meetings. Just celebrated year 5 together. It’s a miracle we made it. The first 3 years together were so amazingly difficult because I wasn’t working a program.
If I had to give any advice it would be, your recovery has to always come first, always.
Yeah not an ideal time, but finding the right love language combination is quite difficult I've found . As heart beats is saying, just watch out to avoid codependency. Hopefully, sobriety will be a shared interest that actually strengthens the relationship. At the end of the day, though, your individual sobriety is paramount. Good luck in both.
See I need that why can’t I get anyone too bite I want love so bad and still alone so what the He11
Don’t do it (fr someone who DID)
Give yourself a chance and work on YOU and only YOU! Getting sober isn't easy so you don't need the ups and downs of a relationship interfering with your journey. I was in a similar situation years ago and my sponsor broke it down for me real simply " two dead batteries ain't gonna start the car" I understood that analogy and decided to do the work for me and only me. I was the most liberating thing I have ever done. No more codependency running my relationships.
I always say the first time you feel ready to date in sobriety—don’t. Once you can figure out why that was the right decision—then you can try. If that point comes before you have at least 6 months—repeat the previous cycle. Keep in mind sobriety revolves around willingness. Willingness to be lonely, to be bored, to reach out to strangers, to make new friends, the list goes on and on. This is just another thing you have to be willing to go without because it might be instrumental in keeping you clean and sober. All you are feeling now WILL be temporary. However, if you do go through with the relationship, stick to your program above all else. If they leave the program and you have to leave them, that’s what you have to do. You started this journey for a reason, don’t lose sight of it.
I feel like we are being punk’d.
Rehab romance is just substituting one pleasure source with another. It’s a disaster waiting to happen. It’s a distraction from the work it takes to get and stay sober.
I am normally very glass half full, but this is all kinds of bad.
Honestly it neverrrr works. It’s just distraction from looking at ourselves. Plenty better candidates if your gonna jump into something early in sobriety. Just sharing my experience.
No new relationships within the first 12 months of sobriety
Congrats on finding sobriety and a person. I would say both of you would do better putting your sobriety first and focus on that. If you maintain it everything else will fall into place.
Just take it slow. That's my only advice.
They say you shouldn’t get in a relationship for a year of recovery. Who are they?!
Just no matter what put your sobriety first. I know from personal experience that to put high expectations on people, places & things can lead to emotional set backs which can then lead to relapse. Follow your gut feeling & put your sobriety above all else & everything else in life will be of a better quality. Best of luck
Know you probably have heard this, we don't like to hear things that are good for us. Fix you first then look at a relationship;) Just a suggestion though;)
2 sickies don't make a welly.
This is such a cute way of saying don’t