I relapsed after almost 11 months of sobriety. The pain , shame & guilt is eating me alive . I’ve called off work, i stopped eating , all because of alcohol.
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Are you working a program of recovery?
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I'm newly sober myself after almost a 8 year binge with alcohol. There's a lot of guilt I carry from things I've done as a drunk and things that can never be taken back and you only hope to be forgiven. But one thing I've learned is that you can never change yesterday but you can always change tomorrow. Look at this as trip or stumble working on your way up the mountain of life. Stay strong, don't hate yourself, you have this!!!!
The fact you are feeling guilty about it shows that your heart is committed to being sober. That's what matters most. You hit a speed bump, that's all. Don't feel like a failure because you made one mistake. Just keep driving the road you've been on for the last 11 months. Keep yourself away from any situation or people that can remotely tempt you to drink. To me, you are still 11 months sober. Don't let one little hiccup bring you down.
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Some recovery programs will say it was just a “lapse” not a “relapse” as long as you stop almost immediately. It was just one slip up. Your head and heart sounds like it’s in the right place. It’ll be ok ❤️🩹 one day at a time ! You can change you can be something else you can be different you can be new !
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Go easy on yourself. Just dust yourself off& keep going, meaning get bk to doing what you were doing before you relapsed. Get bk to the basics. Use this as a lesson. You can save someone else’s life. For what it’s worth, from this time forward, you don’t ever, never have to use again, even if you want to.
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Realizing what happened is key !! The important thing is that you’re back on track so Welcome Back !!!!
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Be proud of the 11 months! You slipped up, maybe you just needed a little reminder of why you’re on this sober journey! Don’t be too hard on yourself! You got this.
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Her Jess, sorry you're going through this. For me shame years me down and makes me worthless while hope and faith give me reason to live the way I actually want to (sober). Get through the forest couple days, get on your feet, and please keep on Monday that you have intrinsic value. I believe in you.
Jess
The reason that you relapsed is because you believed what I call "The Big lie." Alcohol feeds us a big lie that says, this time, things will be ok.
But it never is, is it.
I want you to hold on to this feeling for as long as you possibly can because sooner or later you are going to have a desire to drink again and I want you to remember where it got you.
I got sober December 11th of 2002. Life was going great. Then I had something come back to haunt me from my past that I had to deal with.
I relapsed in 2011 after almost 9 yrs. It cost me 3 years of oblivion before I came crawling back in on July 6th 2014.
We have to learn to play the scene forward. You might feel some comfort and relief for a very short period of time but when it's over with, you will be right back where you are right this moment carrying around more guilt like your carrying right now realizing that you accomplished absolutely nothing.
Questions to ask yourself.
Were you going to AA meetings every week?
Do you have a sponsor that is taking you through the 12 steps?
Did you pick up the phone and call anyone from the program before you picked up?
You just learned a very hard lesson I hope. The good news is that there is hope and you never have to drink again but you're going to have to stop believing the big lie and do what is suggested in AA.
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Jess,
Forgive yourself, be kind to yourself, love yourself. Stop and think of how strong you are that you made 11 months of sobriety. You are stronger today than yesterday, you can do this.
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The difference between regret and shame is..
Regret is you acknowledge it and accept it and learn from it .
Shame is never acknowledging it and burying it to never to be spoke of.
I’ve done it myself and buried my thoughts in the self pity and remorse.
At least you were honest about it.
“Can’t change what you’ve done but you can change what you’re doing.”
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Oh honey I have been there and the best thing we can do is keep being courageous and Pat yourself on the back and say we still love you and Jess and wow you went 11 months without using your survival skills that’s amazing!! Pull your chin up and keep moving forward you didn’t lose anything you just changed your sober date. It’s progress not perfection
❤🩹❤🩹:raised_hands:t3:
I've been there. It's difficult and the guilt can weigh you down. My wife always tells me, “Be gentle with yourself,” and that reminder helps me tremendously.
We're all doing the best we can. It's difficult, but you're capable of maintaining an alcohol-free life. Don't give in to the negative thoughts or guilt trip, you've got this!
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I agree. Feeling sorry for yourself doesn’t help anything, hold yourself accountable. Get back in the program, immediately.
Glad you are coming back! Keep talking about it... Shame dies when our stories are told in safe places.
I've been there and beat myself up over it too. It really doesn't do any good, cause this too shall pass...Just focus on today. You've got this Jess
I did the same thing. I had 321 days and thought I could take the edge off "just for a night" Ha!
You are so supported. The feelings of guilt and shame dissipate if you let yourself go through them. Try to practice some self-lovin' and care today. I know it hurts. It will be okay.
It’s ok. We’re not perfect, we stumble, we fall. The most important thing, is that you learn from this fall. I believe in you. I must of relapsed 20+ times. But I learned from those relapses. I’m coming up on 6 years sober. Don’t give up.
I know this story well. I’ve learned I don’t need to feel any of those ugly feelings. Be proud u made it back. That takes strength, self love an desire.
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