Scared of Withdrawal

Struggling Help
#1

In early 2020, I turned to alcohol to cope with trauma and an overwhelming job, and have not gone a single day without alcohol (LOTS of alcohol) since.

I only weigh about 100 lbs, and have developed such an alarmingly high tolerance for alcohol… I can consume about 8 shots of whiskey (spaced out throughout the day) before anyone even notices that I’m impaired. I know I can quit and want to quit SO badly… but I’m so terrified of withdrawal because I know it can be very dangerous. I also cannot leave my job to go into treatment (I run my family’s large company).

I feel so trapped. I’m having panic attacks daily. Does anyone have any experience with “weaning off” alcohol? How do I escape this? :disappointed:

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#2

I feel you. I was in an abusive relationship and a job that was taxing. I was 118 and my tolerance was insane, I experienced the same. I was deathly afraid of going to treatment I was trying to juggle it all. Panic attacks and living in survival mode. I tried to give myself limits of when or what I could drink, but ultimately there were some issues I really needed to face I was only able to do through therapy. Putting yourself first is a good thing. There are treatment programs or I suggest finding a therapist you can talk to with confidence. There’s some apps that I’ve seen help you monitor your drinks, maybe that would help you slow the pace so you can decide what is right for you

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#3

I personally took a couple weeks to slow it down to zero, I stayed sober for a week and went to treatment after.

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#4

This may be a silly question but have you already tried to stop drinking in the past and felt withdrawals?

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#5

I had the same fears, I can't leave my job, can't leave my life, to check into some where. Drinking was killing me though, when I did try to wean, take that back, the numerous times I tried to wean and control it myself, never ever worked out. I was afraid I would seize up from withdrawal and die, quitting alcohol can do that depending how much you drink daily. I had to make the decision that I was going to treatment and my job, the rest of my life, had to just wait. If they weren't supportive, then I would just be fired I guess because it needed to be done. For the first time in my life, I put myself first, and I am so thankful I did. If the people around you care about you, if your job cares about you, they will be there for support. You CAN absolutely leave for job to go into treatment, you could say well, it's not that simple. What really is not that simple is trying to life a life drinking everyday. Start living today, get things together and get some medical help!

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#6

Good stuff in all these comments! There is no easy soft way to get sober. You can tell yourself and all of us “it’s complicated” but the fact is, that’s an excuse. If you truly want to be sober then to he!l with everything else. It’s either take time to heal from addiction or take time in the hospital because of liver failure, or worse. Put YOU and your health first. Those that matter won’t mind and those that mind don’t matter.

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#7

This^^^^

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#8

I have to agree with Jason. No business is more important than your life. No amount of money can buy your life back if you lose it to this disease.

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#9

Not silly at all…. I used to drink and quit a few years ago, but it was never close to this current level of consumption :frowning:

#10

You all are amazing… thank you so much for your Non-judgment, love, openness, and support. You are right that my job situation is very complicated (if I leave my job, my family’s company will most likely go under… leaving 60 employees without jobs, and my family and parents will lose our home… etc). But I am going to put my health first, and in addition to tracking my intake to accurately wean off, I am going to search TODAY for an outpatient treatment center. If outpatient therapy and monitored treatment isn’t enough, then I will seek inpatient.:heart::green_heart: thank you all.

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#11

I had the same concerns about my job as well as losing my family. I went to detox and they set me up with an IOP(intensive out patient). With in a week, I relapsed. And went back to detox but that time I knew if I didn’t quit I would lose both my job and my family. So I went to a 28 day program. I was the best thing I could have done. Now everything I was trying to put before my sobriety I have lost, job, wife. But I have developed new loved ones and a great support group through AA. I stayed sober through it all. And don’t be scared to go to meetings even if you haven’t quit drinking.

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#12

Thank you SO much Chris for sharing this… you are so brave for sharing and for putting your health first. I also really appreciate your advice regarding meetings… because I admittedly didn’t feel like I was “allowed” to attend meetings (and might be triggering to others) if I was still actively drinking.

Maybe I can even find an inpatient center that would allow me to continue working? Regardless, please Let me know if any of you have any suggestions for treatment centers, as I know they are not all created equal. (Been doing research this morning)

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#13

Keep us posted Jill. We are all on your side and have walked or are currently walking in your shoes. Praying for you girl!!

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#14

Wendy thank you… it’s amazing to feel so loved and supported by people I’ve never even met. I am so grateful for your words and especially your prayers. I will say some prayers for you and everyone else in this community as well. :pray:t3::heart:I also promise to keep you all posted on my progress through recovery. I will say that for the first time in YEARS, I feel inspired and hopeful that I can and WILL do this. I am not alone, and I am not trapped.

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#15

Withdrawals are no joke!! I tried to go cold Turkey. Big mistake!! I thought was was going to die!! I almost called 911, instead I had 3 drinks and felt amazing. That’s when I decided to get help. Ultimately the feeling of withdrawals scared me into sobriety.

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#16

Jill have you ever utilized a recovery coach? I had never even heard of it until this past year… having someone who’s a professional to reach out too at any time for support, insight, recovery references, etc has been amazing! They could probably help you navigate all your local detox and treatment options! You definitely don’t want to face withdrawals alone, go to your local emergency room and they should be able to help to get through the first couple rough days! Thinking positive thoughts for you girl! You got this!

#17

Yes it is scary and makes a person feel so trapped. I’m soooo happy you decided to get help. I’m used to trying to do everything myself, but I am realizing that some of the hardest things in life require help from others… and also that asking for help is sometimes the hardest step. :pray:t3:

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#18

I’m independent. Almost too independent. Being independent could’ve killed me. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help. As far as taking time off from work… it’s a tiny measure of time in the grand scheme of things.

#19

Not sure where your from Jill but figured I’d pass this website about in home treatment services along to you… unfortunately it’s only available in certain states.

#20

Jill you're definitely not alone. My ex girlfriend broke up with me in August after 4 years and one year being engaged. I turned to the bottle and it caused our relationship to go down. Looking back I know we were both too codependent on each other. Now I have 4 months sober, a sponsor, friends in AA, and finally spending more time with my family. It is tough especially this time of the year but at least I'm not ruining another Christmas like my ex girlfriend told me. Just take it one day at a time. You got this!