Sitting in a AA meeting, looking for answers, don't really feel like I feel fit in.
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Being introverted does not help either. Hopefully we find meetings that work for us
Yes. I felt the same way. I just go annually now. You'll be just as well off with it as without it.
Act as if…..if rubs off after awhile. Don’t stop. Raise your hand at the beginning and let them know who you are. You’ll fit in eventually. Up to you to reach out to others. Hope it works out eventually.
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Just keep going back, the miracle will happen
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Thank you all for your advice and kind words. I'm still trying to figure all this out and it's nice to know I have somewhere to turn.
We all feel like that at first.. it just takes time..
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I felt like that at first also. It worked for me. I hope either way u find what works for you. Keep at it man
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I recommend turning off your phone when you're at a meeting and pay attention like everyone else. That would be a good start. Not trying to sound mean.
Just good advice.
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It works great for some, some don't like it. I usually enjoyed the meetings, maybe when there was a bunch of rambling or got annoying. But, I've always heard that there are a bunch of different groups so maybe another meeting will feel more natural for ya.
Keeping myself “comfortable” kept me sick. In the beginning of every meeting they read How it Works. The gist of it is this: your way did not work. If you want what we have, and are willing to go to ANY LENGTH TO ACHIEVE IT, you’ll stop trying your way and try it a new way.
For me, any length meant overcoming the resistance to Higher Power. Overcoming introvertedness. Making time. Prioritizing recovery over everything else.
Resistance to change is normal. Admitting you need help is hard. Admitting you can’t do something that other people do easily is hard. Feeling self conscious and vulnerable requires trust and faith.
12 step fellowships are full of some of the greatest people of all time. But there are also some real pieces of work. It may take different meetings and work with a sponsor before you click with the program. These are small prices to pay for recovery from a hopeless state of mind and body.
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Give it time even if you feel that way you are still sober
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Try different meetings. Keep looking until you find ones that you like. There are SO many different meetings on Zoom. If drugs were a part of your story, then maybe look into Narcotics Anonymous. I started in AA. Now I have 5 years and 20 days clean from going to NA meetings. Above all, keep coming back.
I’ve attended both AA and NA, and this my be purely due to where I live, but NA has served me 100% better than AA. Try hitting an NA meeting and see if the flavor is more congruent to you.
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Don’t beat yourself up. Being an introvert is common among addicts. We typically stay away from people due to us not wanting to be judged for our habits.
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Some people don’t get what they need the first go around in AA I didn’t and after a second DUI came back. Got a little more and cooled of eventually leaving AA. I white knuckled it and eventually relapsed. FOR TEN YEARS before I had a crisis. I had not gotten what I needed. The spiritual aspect.
My wife and I were in the program 3 1/2 years and she died unexpectedly. They were the best years we had, and she didn’t die drunk.
It took a while before I heard a share that I really identified with, but then I was off to the races. I hit 60 days of sibriety tomorrow and am closing in on 90 meetings.
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It takes time to feel comfortable, it did for me. I only have one option but if you live in a metro there should be a lot of different meetings, try them out. A friend of mine attends her local LGBT meetings even though she’s straight, she just likes the vibe.
There’s also other groups than AA, but the fellowship and support is priceless where everyone you find it.
Hang in there.
I’ve heard this from a lot of younger people (I’m 51). Whatever works for you, keep going. I live in a small town and we have mixed AA/NA members, it works for us and I get some perspective from people younger than me.