Feeling guilty and lost like usual. I’ve started seeing a therapist though, so that makes me hopeful!
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Have you had a chance to check our an AA meeting?
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I have, but I just haven’t found one that’s a good fit.
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Where do you live?
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I totally get that…but if you just go, no matter what, it will help. You have to want it bad enough though. Maybe try an online meeting and get to know a few people online first.
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Austin, TX
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Do you have the AA meeting app?
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I think you need to gentle on yourself today is temporary but tomorrow keep it simple and get to the middle of the herd as best you can
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Get a phone list and just make calls, that is what really kept me sober because you're head is telling you are no good and we love you too pieces
If you accept my friend request I have a screen shot of meetings that run 24 hours a day. It's from my FB group also this one AA Hermosa Beach, California Attitude Adjustment 6:45am PST / 9:45am EST everyday
(Weekends 7am PST / 10am EST)
Zoom ID: 138 539 602
Passcode: 1234
There are a LOT of meetings online via the Zoom app. They're free to attend.
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Keep pushing! 
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We Agnostics has a few AA meetings in Austin. No prayer etc, only fellowship and sobriety. Check them out.
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That’s ok, the important thing you recognize the want to change!! Be kind to yourself, you got this one day at a time!! I’m here to support you hmu IM me 
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I've tried the meetings and they weren't really my thing. They are good for meeting new people that have the same goals of sobriety. I get the most out of meditation and achieving healthy goals. I also did a deep dive into mindfulness books to evaluate my triggers, past mistakes, traumas etc. This is all done in AA too. I found doing the work and honestly evaluating what I want to help me immensely. You just have to keep at it and find what works for you best. Keep at it you got this. The more sober time you clock the better you will feel and the rest just seems to work itself out. Sobriety didn't magically solve my problems it just put me in a better place to do so.
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I would think there would be all kinds of amazing meetings in a place as cool as Austin.
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I find a good therapist will help you see things that have been not visible to you … I see a therapist too and I enjoy learning more about me each time !! Good luck 
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Keep seeing that therapist and don't hold back especially if talking to one is helping you.
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The therapy can help with some problems AA is not designed to do as well and the AA program with therapy can be a multiplier for you.
I love this!!