So my wife of 24 years left me my second week into rehab now I’m 2 months clean and she’s already dating and it’s not the best feeling I have been taking up Buddhism and it’s helping to see things differently but I always thought when I got clean things would be better and I’m not seeing that.
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Sometimes when we burn bridges they stay burned.
Stay on your path and just focus on healing yourself. Hang in there and don't do it alone. Reach out to NA or secular AA.
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I think when we get sober, those close to us are so used to us one way, the sudden change is jarring and hard to grasp. Some don’t have the fortitude to deal with a big life change and the quit. For now… just keep your street clean. Don’t let someone else’s actions be an excuse to use, it is not worth it.
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I’m definitely not going to use even tho I thought this would be a trigger for me but turns out I’m stronger than I realize Ty
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Ty everyone it helps a lot I just can’t see anything for my future anyone have that issue with her I knew my place in life now it just blank
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I’m sorry to hear that, I also went through I difficult divorce but it will get better! Glad you are staying strong!
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Ty
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Sorry but it’s their loss or maybe they just don’t want to face their own addiction. That’s what my family is doing to me. Some just don’t acknowledge me but being sober feels better than facing death. Stay strong. Their loss remember that. 
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Hi, Robert…sorry to read that you are going through this painful time.
I was in a relationship where the person did
n o t drink-yet even after close to two years of sobriety on my part…this person still treated me like s h - t.
( And please know, I was no angel - even after getting sober ).
The nature of our relationship was toxic…from the beginning.
During that period, a woman at a meeting I went to-patiently listened to me uh, complain about him and told me, “ you will have to accept that he will not be a part of your sobriety “…which turned out to be true.
To this day, some of the memories of being rejected - come back - and it still hurts.
You mentioned Buddhism.
I do not know if you have heard of Pema Chodron.
She is a Buddhist nun.
Her books and words might help with your healing process.
Wishing you peace, Robert.
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So sorry to hear that, you deserve better.
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I read all her books lol I love when things fall apart
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Check out Gabor Mate lectures on trauma and healing. YouTube. Very helpful. I think you are smart to be sober. You can live your best life. Then everything will fall into place.
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Hi Robert, I was a year sober and just shy of 16 years married when my wife left. Despite all the signs, it hit me like a freight train. In the beginning I quit to save my marriage. I had every intention of driving to the store and buying liquor. My car drove to the meeting house instead. My people surrounded me and helped me limp along. I almost lost my job. My perception changed at some point and I started to see things more clearly. Around 4 months separated I saw a quote that said ‘Thank you for leaving because I never would have walked away. That was about a year ago and I cannot believe how much better I feel and my mental health is heathy. Just keep putting one foot i front of the other.
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Time takes time. Nothing happens overnight. If you walk 5 miles into the woods, you need to walk 5 miles back out.
Sobriety doesn’t erase the past, it just facilitates a better present moment. I wish you peace. #NoDayButToday
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Hi again, Robert!
Your comment is making me smile…meaning, yes.
I love When Things Fall Apart…as in…
PC’s wisdom presented within that book and her other writings.
I mean.
I have not been able to stand it when things actually fall apart, know?!
If I am remembering correctly, Pema Chodron started on that / her respective path…post the dissolution of her marriage.
A wholehearted “ I agree “ with JD’s comment as well…Gabor Mate…yes!
Maureen, thank you for bringing up Refuge Recovery.
I would like to find one locally…I last checked a long while back…and I do not recall seeing any taking place here…maybe I can help to get one going?
( I prefer in person meetings to online options ).
Robert, have you heard of so…been to any?
I haven’t heard or been to any but I looked there is none in my area
Focus on yourself. One day at a time.
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