I’m feeling grumpy. It bothers me when people who haven’t gone through recovery try to preach to me, give me unsolicited advice, and these motivational talks when they have no idea what sobriety is like and wouldn’t have the courage to get sober themselves. If you’re trying to support someone’s sobriety, this is not the way (for me personally). Has anyone else felt irked by this?
12 Likes
Normies don’t have a clue. I don’t have an answer, but yes they sound stupid.
I use the quote I heard from MJ all the time:
“For those of us there is no explanation necessary. For all others there is no explanation possible.”
Your people understand you. We understand you.
5 Likes
Yep. Occasionally a normie really surprises me and is genuinely interested in learning about my toxic relationship with alcohol. But usually they just pat me on the head and say something stupid (which is intended to be kind) and I thank them and then come home to my ppl.
2 Likes
They will never know what it’s like
2 Likes
Until they have walked in the same shoes as you.
1 Like
Very true, my only problem is some of these people are my family members, the people I’d normally turn to. So I’m feeling isolated in this, but I’m appreciative for all of your support and kind words thank you
Oh yeah!! Eventually tho. things like this just roll off your back like a wet duck. Be a duck 
2 Likes
Have ya tried rubbin dirt on it? Lol just laugh it off. Still if ya can use that outside perspective as there may be a nugget of wisdom in there. Maybe.
3 Likes
The one that gets me most is “just don’t do it” oh yeah thanks didn’t realize it was that easy 
3 Likes
Right??!! 
2 Likes
I was once told.. actually several times lol.
“Tommy it’s non of your business what people say or do even if it’s about you” 
People are where they are in there lives wether it be in recovery or outside of recovery.
There is truly nothing one can do or say to change this.
“People are who they are and that’s who they are”
In a way this is kind of like when we drank or drugged.. plenty of people would tell us: I wish you wouldn’t do that, I hurts watching you kill your self this way, why don’t you just stop, it’s just not ok, if ya only knew.
Well anyway I’m sure ya get what I’m saying.
This is a perfect moment for us to practice the spiritual principles of love, tolerance, acceptance and yes.. integrity.
Saying this is much easier said then done but when we do this eventually this becomes a much easier option. 
Fact is we do have feelings..
Yet feelings are not facts they do not have to dictate us.
“We are powerless over people places and things.” 
2 Likes
I’ve found it in dating. I’m almost 2.5 years sober and doing well, I’d like to meet someone. When we start chatting I feel it’s important to tell them, they are always supportive/kind/etc. but they really don’t get it. It’s not their fault
2 Likes
... And then they back away slowly (in my experience) 
3 Likes
Yep🙄
The ol..
Well good for you for doing that.
I gota get going.. we will have to catch-up later on 
3 Likes
Way to stay strong and keep using that willpower. I feel so sorry for you.
2 Likes
hahaha
We were just talking about this in my group therapy today. I learned that a great way to honor your boundaries without coming off as mean or nasty is to smile and say “thank you for that suggestion” and that’s it. 
I’m gonna try it next time someone overwhelms me with their “shoulds ”.
1 Like
God talks through people, so I’m always listening.
1 Like
The best way I try to explain it to people that aren’t addicts of any kind is by telling them, I’ll talk to you about it and if you’re interested in learning about what I go through, great, but shut your mouth and listen. Nothing you can really say will have any merit.
The only people that I’ve truly realized that understand my addiction and me, are the others in the rooms. I’ve felt so comfortable talking to random people because they know what it’s like. They know the demon that we all battle every day.
My first instinct is to just shut the “normies” out, but I’m learning to be more open and nicer to them, then I’ll vent later to my sponsor for someone making a comment that I didn’t like from a normie.
2 Likes