I need some helpful hints and words of encouragement for a wedding I have to go to tomorrow. It’s going to be alcohol filled with tons of friends. I’m thinking I’ll drive and just drink seltzers with lime. Or should I just be upfront about not drinking? What are your approaches to these types of situations?
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Make sure you have an escape, if people ask you can choose to tell them you are sober, or make up something. I found it fun making up a new story for everyone who asked… the confusion and calls the next few days as the rumors were flying were a fun distraction. And gave me the chance to tell people one on one when we were sober. Mocktails also are. Good choice if you want to look like you are drinking. Just avoid shots, and be true to yourself.
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What’s the possibility of bringing someone in the program?
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If someone is going to the bar and says to u “what you drinking, I’m going to the bar “ just say club soda lime and OWN it. Don’t say it sheepish, if they say oh? Not drinking? Just say no, trying to get healthy or what ever other reason u want to use. And smile!
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Who’s going to be your sober companion?
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Just be upfront about not drinking it’s the best way you got this take some support with you
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Have an escape plan and stay away from the bar area. Also take support
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I get ginger ale in a beer glass. You can says it’s a beer or a high ball depending on who’s asking. Or, tell people you’re on call or have to work early in the AM. That’s what I used to do- now I just say I stopped drinking years ago instead of trying to conform to a “norm.” Most people now accept the “I gave up drinking” answer which usually creates a good conversation. Be yourself and be proud that your sober!
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I definitely agree with Tim, you have to have an escape plan. We’ve all been there and what worked for me may not work for you. This what I did, during the reception I got a seltzer and lime and then went to the furthest point from the bar. Hopefully, there’s an outdoors or a nice sunset and you can move your friends along. It worked well for me. When it was time to sit down for dinner I made sure my back was to the bar try to scope out where you are sitting and put your suit jacket on the chair. This way you have your drink you can’t see the bar and when it comes to toast lift your seltzer. I hope you can relax and enjoy the day. Yes, it will be tough but you can do this. Things get rough go for a walk outside, dance remove yourself from the area. We all wish you luck and the best. Please let us know that you knocked this one out of the park.
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Well for me I was in a wedding and didn’t drink. I was with the wedding party the whole time until the reception; then I snuck off and went to a meeting. Do whatever it is you have to do to stay sober. Peace and love.
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Always have an out, tell who you choose but know that word will travel. Stay true, use this resource for words during the evening if needed.
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All your support is overwhelming and very much appreciated. Thank you so much everyone.
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Just go and yeah maybe bring a friend (sober) with you and just be yourself and if they question you then there not a friend!! Staying true to your self is all you need!
I always say I found out I was allergic to alcohol. It makes me break out in handcuffs. After a laugh I just say I’m trying something new and it involves no drinking. I usually get left alone after that. Then I do an Irish goodbye when people start feeling too tipsy.
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Take a sober friend
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I like to let people know that I am on a journey is not drinking for a while. The seltzer and lime would help a lot. Also set boundaries, if you feel yourself getting a bit anxious, take a step outside and recollect yourself. Even leave if you need to.
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I’m taking the month off from drinking. Why’d you chose this month with the wedding? “Because every month has a birthday, wedding, holiday, and I wanted to remember this one clearly”
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I usually just get a club soda with a splash of cran and a lime and almost no one has ever asked what I was drinking. If I was asked I just say I’m not drinking, making healthier choices etc. So funny but most people really don’t care what other people drink etc but I agree with an exit plan and I usually hit a meeting after all dressed up so that’s fun. Have a good time! Enjoy not being hung over the next day! 
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I was 90 days sober at my best friends wedding where I was maid of honor. It was really difficult but I made sure I had a plan.. I got any booze out of my hotel room, I confided in a couple close friends who I could pull aside if I needed to, I had my people I could text or call.. the rest of the bridal party obviously noticed I wasn’t drinking but they didn’t ask and I didn’t tell.. I ordered a lot of mocktails (if it’s a nice venue the bartenders will get creative for you) and when people asked what I was drinking I said, I’m not sure I asked them to surprise me! There were moments I felt left out like when people were doing shots or during the champagne toast but those moments passed and ultimately I have so many wonderful memories of being fully present for my friend. Good luck and stay strong! It’ll be worth it!
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I have attempted many weddings sober and the biggest advice I have are two things: one, make sure you have someone that will be sober with you. Two, have an escape. I did not go with anyone which was stressful and sent me into a bad spiral. Having that support has been the most important thing I've done for myself. I have gone to multi-day festivals successfully because I had that life raft.
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