Well, after my 17th anniversary yesterday I finally got the guts up to see if my daughters father was having an affair. Surprise - he was - again…I feel like such a fool to have trusted him more than one time. To think I could “fix” things that were not mine to fix. I sobered up with him, an active alcoholic, in my life (just hit 3 years sober 7/20). He says I’m not fun anymore since I don’t drink…so he found someone new again. He’s cheated on every girl he’s dated before me but apparently I’m color blind to that red flag. I’m more mad at myself than anything…I should have cared about myself more - but that’s part of the reason I drank is because I’ve never felt good enough. Everything just sucks so bad right now - and god I wish I could have a drink…fml.
I am so sorry to read this. It breaks my heart to hear anyone go through this, let alone a sister in recovery. I bet it feels like all the pieces you pick up right now only turn into more pieces.
I guess I could give you some "canned" response and tell you to keep your chin up. You and I both know that won't help. So I offer the best I can and give you a virtual hug from here to their.
Please reach out to close friends and your sponsor. You are worth it. Your daughter is worth it.
I'm so sorry... that isn't your fault. I'm praying for you!
I don’t have a sponsor, I only went to a few AA meetings back in 2019 - no friends either as I cut away from everyone to be sober and have just been dedicated to my relationship and my daughter. It sucks…but it is what it is now and all I can really do is roll with it.
Pray for your husband. Obviously he is a man of this secular world. Until he prays for forgiveness and reconciliation please give him a lot of space. Hopefully 
he will realize what he has lost.
People usually do figure it out - it’s just too late.
That’s terrible Marie, no one deserves to be cheated on sober or not. You’ll get thru this but do not drink no matter what. Definitely go to some AA and Al-anon meetings 
.
Remember, your sobriety needs to come first.
If you work the steps and trust the process you “will be amazed before you are halfway through”
Girl, I'm sorry. This really sucks. I hope you get everything in divorce court. Cheating is never OK.
Never married - I was always hesitant - should have trusted my gut. Oh well, got a beautiful girl out of it.
Sadly this isn’t an uncommon experience. When partners meet when using and get sober they find they don’t know or trust that partner. Suggest you build a foundation with you and your gift that needs you more than ever. Getting plugged into a program to fellowship and meet like minded folk is the best remedy for what you’re going through. Hope you can get past this and always keep that sobriety first in all you do. Without it, nothing else will matter.
You say your "daughter's father," so I take that means you're not married? There are a lot of problems that stem from people shacking up together and not getting legally married. Everything in the marriage vows are translated into "until it's not fun anymore."
It sounds to me like you married a little kid. You're not the same person you were when you were drinking, and so his decision rather than to work it out and learn about each other is to go find someone else not to mention total disregard for how this will affect his daughter. I've got news for him. He will find out that this person is a real person like yourself who has good and bad points like the rest of us. Moving from one relationship to another is never a good solution.
I never try to encourage people to get divorced, but whether you're married or not, committing adultery is the only allowable reason for getting divorced in the eyes of God almighty. It's written in the Bible. Mathew 5:31-32.
From the perspective of alcohol recovery, I've seen many couples split up after they got sober because they realized that they got married or shacked up for the wrong reason. This is why it's not a good reason to get married to or live with someone when there's drinking going on because we're not really playing with a full deck to begin with.
It's okay to want to have a drink. Those are fleeting thoughts. But it's important that you remember not to believe the big lie. The big lie tells us that this time, everything will be okay. But it never is, is it? Make sure you play the scene all the way forward. You might feel good for a short period of time, but when you wake up tomorrow, you will realize that you accomplished absolutely nothing. You have some big decisions to make. If you married someone who has a history of cheating, you would do best to remove yourself from that relationship as soon as possible. There's a better life waiting for you than to waste your time with an immature child like him.
I would also stay out of relationships until your daughter is at least 18. Hooking up with someone while our kids are still growing up in the house is a real bad idea. I can testify to this.
In the eyes of the kids, they are nothing more than Intruders.
I dunno, my 17 years beats out almost all of the married couples I know my age - many of whom have been married more than once. Divorce rates are sky-high. He had two previous marriages behind him and it made me hesitate to put paperwork on the table. I loved him, but he didn’t have a great track record - not to mention I never wanted a piece of paper to tell me I was with someone. I was committed to him regardless. Also, we didn’t get together while we were drinking - it just kinda grew on us and became bigger than (at least I) ever intended. Looking back now it was about 7 years ago that it started getting unhealthy for me - using it to cope, not remembering things, and it becoming a daily need instead of a choice., etc. before that we drank on holidays and maybe went out once a month. He was only a couple years ahead of me - using to cope with his brother going to prison, and a lot of other drama in his family (not an excuse - just a trigger).
I am so so sorry. I have had the same conversations with my husband. Vacation isn’t going to be the same blah blah. So then I cry again. I wish this never happened but it did to all of us and we need to stay strong. 34 months but feel like a beginner again. Stay strong.
So sorry. Not much I can add except great job in sobriety. And life is more fun now sober than ever before. Thoughts are with you.
Girl I rode on that same bus right along with you. I feel your pain so much and wish I could have been by your side. Yes it does suck and I felt the same way. Message me if you need a friend that’s been there. Much love to you 
Don’t solve what seems to be an ongoing yet temporary problem with a temporary solution. You are worth more than all the alcohol in the world.
You deserve better. Continue your journey and focus on loving yourself.
Serial cheaters are just that. It’s like it’s own disease, for real. It’s certainly not your fault. Move on and find another.