What made you finally quit? Was it something extreme or did you just decide to stop? What made it different than other times you tried?
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Easy for me this time around. Got locked up. My M.O. Took God bringing on a pandemic to save my behind. Sorry all. My bad. Hi ho. This my last chance at recovery. It’s forever now. Me and him came to an understanding. I stay out of his way, he takes care of everything. Blessed in that way. Got no issues with the 3rd step. Easy peasy this time around. Great feeling knowing I’m not in control and someone greater than me has the reigns. Kids taken care of. And now they bringing more mini me’s into the world I get to love all over again.
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Consequences never made me quit as long as there was hope that I could still figure it out and get back to the good things (the enjoyment) that alcohol gave me. Until I realized that the pursuit was hopeless. That alcohol was done doing for me and was only going to do things to me. When it was hopeless that I was ever going to figure anything out. When I realized I was completely powerless on my own and became willing to accept help.
Surrender.
Then I was willing to do whatever it takes and open minded enough to listen to what they told me to do.
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Our bottom is when the pain exceeds the fear of change. When we not just say it, but believe it; “I need help”.
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I woke up one day and just knew I had to stop, nothing crazy had happened the night before, but my soul was aching, it was tired and done. I have heard it called a spiritual bottom. I haven’t had a drink since.
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I was a daily drinker from 2008-2012ish, got a DUI (and had many, many bottoms at this time yet I couldn't stop) but still binge drinking until 2014 or so, quit drinking temporarily because a friend whom I trusted believes I had a problem and I made so many awful mistakes, I hated what I had become. I did NA/AA for a year or so but was not dedicated enough not to be easily swayed to drink again, but I was in a relationship with someone who thought drinking was unattractive and it was easier to limit myself to social drinking this way, but I would still turn into a hot-mess-express whenever I did. When I got into a different relationship with a binge-drinker, I started going down that slippery slope again myself and even after I distanced myself from this person, I kept the bad habit. At my friends wedding I told myself I was just going to have 1 drink but I couldn't regulate and I ended up getting sick outside the venue at the end of the night and even though my friends were very supportive and nonjudgmental, I was unbelievably embarrassed and mad at myself....that ish isn't a cute look in your 30s, or anytime really. I felt like this was the universe pushing me to do the right thing. I felt like an irresponsible hypocrite because I'm entering into the healing arts profession and I know this lifestyle isn't good for me or anyone, and I can't very well be telling my clients to live a healthy life when I'm not doing it myself. Although deeply unpleasant, This whole thing was the wakeup call I needed.
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I lost all will to live. Existing was so unmanageable. Only then I could take on the task of changing everything. It wasn't my life anymore. I gave it all up to my higher power.
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Trauma/tragedies and negative, uncontrollable life situations had taken my social drinking that was mostly fun to a very dark place. On a standard drinking evening things blew up and I had cheated on the person I cared for the most. There was a 3-5 hour window that I pretty much just blacked out and only remember small clips. It was horrible, very easily the worst feeling I’ve ever experienced. I took a month off from drinking but then it got extreme. Fortunately I was able to make the change before I seriously hurt myself or anyone else.
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For me, I found a bottom I had never hit before. I finally drank enough to become mentally and spiritually bankrupt. I was suffering from horrible depression, and often thought about ending everything. I didn’t want to live, but I didn’t want to die either. At that point, I finally admitted I had a problem to myself, and ask for help. That was almost 26 wonderful years ago.
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I threw up in my boyfriend’s car (as a passenger) twice in less than 2 months from alcohol poisoning while coming home from parties. He doesn’t drink and he was fed up with my behavior. Cleaning up pieces of my puke while enduring one of the top 4 worst hangovers I’ve ever woke me up. I realized that keeping my relationship and changing, though difficult, was far better than continuing down the path I was on and letting alcohol run the show.
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First time I quit (mainly booze), I got 2 DUIs in a 3-day span, and I decided I needed a change. It was an extreme event that led to my relapse. This time, no extreme event, I just couldn’t quit meth due to a lot of anger with God. During treatment while I was out running, I had a spiritual awakening. My anger at God, along with my desire to drink and use, was lifted, once I accepted Him back to guide my life.
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My bottom was losing my boyfriend who was an alcoholic for about 20yrs to liver failure at age 38. After loosing him I took. Long hard look at my relationship with alcohol. I felt like this is my second chance to be better and do better. Not only for myself but for him.
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52 days in the hospital. At one point I was told I had a 10% chance of living. Sobriety is life or death. I thought I was a “functional alcoholic.” Never had issues with the law or employment, but I became slowly but very sick over time.
Daphne, great questions!
For me I’ve had a few extreme nights drinking. I stopped for almost 3 years back in 2009-12. The difference then was I had no program. I basically quite to get my stuff back. I did and more. Then one day I decided that I have had some time from drinking and that I could just have one. Well that one drink worked until I was right back where I left off. Then it became worse as meth was now introduced into my life. Went down that dark road not once but twice! So now going through a divorce. Put my ex wife and son through a rough few years(before and after).
What’s different this time? This time I was going to either kill myself or hurt others as my rage from my emotions from being told that your wife doesn’t love you anymore really brought out the inner child. I was kicked out of my home, got cleaned up for about a week and really put my heart and soul into my recovery. I’m now almost 25 months into my new found life and I’m enjoying the new me! I can say today that I love me!
Thank you for bringing up this topic. It’s a good way to be reminded of the past as we may shut the door on it but must not forget about it.
Can I ask you about your sobriety? What’s your journey look like before and now?
This is a we program. I’m here to help anyone with guidance on they’re sobriety journey.
Stay sober my friend! Just for today. One day at a time.
Thank you
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Well I am trying. I have done this before but it didnt stick. I can go a week or so, and then I give in. I once did 4months, the longest I have ever gone. Trying again. Back to day one again today.
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Awesome 
welcome back! Most don’t came back.
I get this feeling that God wants you sober. You’ve tried a few times which means you are destined for sobriety!
I love AA it’s a beautiful way to live.
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I drank so much one night I became suicidal and ended up in the hospital for a week. Detox was not fun but necessary at that point in my life. I was headed down a very dark path (as I’m sure most alcoholics can relate). I entered an intensive outpatient program after the hospital and highly recommend it to anyone struggling with sobriety. Thanks for being up the topic…very therapeutic to remember our past and why we need to be where we are now.
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Thanks! I feel like I have had something trying to tell me to lay off for a very long time.
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That is awesome. Congratulations
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Ran from the cops for a short while, DUI on motorcycle.