Why is it guys always want to ask you out for drinks then when you say sorry I don’t drink anymore they’re like oh nvm… or like why don’t you drink? Or do you care if the person you date drinks? Etc like why can it never be okay, and an actual plan? Or better yet why does everyone think drinks is a good first date?!
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I've never done that, but I've actually had 2 girls do that to me lol so I don't think it's just us guys... But I never did drink with those girls cuz I didn't wanna drink too much and act dumb in front of them
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I just don’t understand the thrill of drinking on the first date! Even before I was sober I didn’t like that idea! I always suspected they were up to no good
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Yeah I can definitely understand that. It does sound creepy in a way
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Very especially when that’s all they want to do
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I think sobriety is attractive! But unfortunately a lot of people don’t…and I hate to say it, but if they are upset about you not drinking, it might be because of their own insecurities about their drinking themselves…
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Hey Taylor!! I remember you posting when you first got sober! Happy to see your recovery is going well! We are not going to change these society quirks. This idea of asking a lady out for a drink has been around forever. We see it in the movies and on tv as well. I don’t necessarily think every guy or gal is a creep. Some may ask you out for a drink because they think that’s what they are supposed to say. I bet it’s frustrating, but we need to find a solution to this problem. Think of a few first date ideas that you would prefer. “If”you are interested, you can always say something like oh that would be nice, but I prefer to sit and chat over coffee. Maybe there’s a nice hiking trail or a park in your area that would make a great first date? Make a list of things you’d like to do. Then when someone you’re interested in asks you for drinks, suggest an alternative. The right guy will absolutely love the idea. The wrong guy can keep walking. Again, you are doing great!! We call this living in the solution. Hope this helps!
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I didn’t drink during Bunco night and I think it made some girls uncomfortable
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Hello Taylor - I think that most guys think that a drink(s) will reduce their nervousness of a first date. It’s not necessarily creepiness, or having an ulterior motive. I agree with the other posts that having sober activities in mind for a first date is a great idea. When others are uncomfortable with us not drinking, it’s really their deal not ours. One time I went out with some coworkers after work, and after the second round when I ordered another sparkling water one of them asked me why I did not drink. They all looked at me, and I told them that it was because I was in training to become a Mormon - but that the church apparently had a problem with farm animal porn! The humor deflected the question, and they never asked again. (apologies to any Mormons or farm people) You’ll find a way to make others at ease w/o drinking. Just be yourself.
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Better question is why are you so rude and judgmental? I’ve literally blocked you like 10 times I don’t know how you keep appearing on my posts. You’re very rude and odd and never have anything helpful to say. If you’re so unstable you can’t handle recovery and social life, dating etc that’s you! But fortunately some of aren’t triggered by every little thing. And no one said anything about partying it’s simply talking about how everyone automatically wants to ask you out for a drink which is odd. I’m strong enough to say no and not go nor do I have any desire too. Now please refrain from messaging me or or commenting on my posts. You creep me out as well.
Exactly makes no sense
Hi Taylor, the way that I date now, I set the dates. So it’s coffee, or a walk, or last week I went paddle boarding for a first date and it was fabulous. There are going to be a ton of people who don’t want to date someone who’s sober. But that’s okay, because most likely their lifestyle does not align with yours. Instead just release it and know that someone who is supportive and accepting of your recovery will come along. Dating sober takes more time than dating drinking, it is a fact that I have come to learn in the last few years of dating. You just have to keep persistent and let the judgement of others go.
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Maybe it’s a go to for a guy. It’s a comfortable place where you have a few drinks and feel good. Some people (self included) can have a hard time thinking of something fun that does not include drinking. It says more about him than you I think.
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Go to meetings to meet people with more time sober.and if your not sober a year.stay a way from drinkers.
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I’m a 30 year old single female as well and yes this is totally a trend I’ve noticed. It’s super frustrating. I think it’s a couple things ranging from thinking a drink will make it less awkward, wanting you to be drunk, just not putting effort into a better date idea. I see some suggestions from men so women to women I wanted to comment. I wouldn’t go on a hike with someone on a first date. Not a good idea. I would say suggest coffee, or dinner or even a movie? For a silver lining I think we can weed out men quicker with seeing how they respond to us not drinking. Good luck out there ! You can message me if you like
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This is a great comment. You covered it so well! 
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I love this response I totally agree! Men just don’t get how unsafe it is for women these days and how weird it really is out there! I agree no joke for a first date that’s how they find your body in the woods 
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This happens a lot for me too. I think it’s just the first thing that comes to mind for a lot of people cause “getting drinks” is just the social culture. I’ve even had coworkers ask me to go out for drinks too, not just dates. I usually suggest something else like coffee or grab a bite to eat- really anything as long as it’s in public
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Yeah but I feel like just a few years ago it wasn’t so prevalent
Happens all the time. The harder part is being ghosted for not drinking. I didn’t have one recent date with someone I was upfront with. Had a nice dinner. I just try explaining to others that alcohols not a part of my life and I’m a much better person when I stoped. If they don’t want to accept the “better sober” you, than it’s not meant to be
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