10 years sober, didn’t get a proper sponsor till 2 years ago. Wish I had done it sooner.
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10 years are a huge achievement! What made you get a sponsor, and why do you wish you had one sooner?
There were never any sponsor's available or I would have got one. Couple people asked me to be there sponsor I guess because I looked older. I'm so wishy washy figured that might not be a good idea.
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I’m not kicking you out. I can’t and wouldn’t. I’m saying if you don’t want to do AA, don’t. It might not be for you. I don’t care. You asked about a sponsor. All I said was that if you don’t want to follow the program (work the steps) you will have a very difficult time finding one. Do whatever you want. I wish you the best (and I mean that).
I go to 3 meetings a week. Not once has anyone ever talked to me the way you have. They only told me to keep coming back and we're the kindest people..which is why I still go to those meetings. I hope you can also see the other side of this too. If anything can be my higher power then why can't another way at sobriety work? Isn't it all about staying sober anyways?
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A sponsor is someone that has worked the steps and in turn help another..So I have a lot of years sober. Believe me, I have heard more BS about what a sponsor is than you could possibly imagine. At one point and time, I was a tough sponsor..Call me everyday etc. However when I was new, I needed daily contact with someone in recovery. My “thinking” could just off the rails any moment; my thinking centers in my mind. One of our cofounders said “Our program really boils down to two things..Love and Service. I don’t know how you feel about a Higher Power; you might consider asking him, her, it to help you find a sponsor. It’s your sobriety and no one else’s. Peace to you man.
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I’m not talking to you any way. Do what you want to. I’m not being unkind. It is a fact that a sponsor will want you to work the program completely. Fact.
Help ya work through the steps, especially 4th and 5th
Tommy!!! A sponsor is one who has gone through the steps and has a working knowledge of the AA program. It’s one who Also has a sponsor and is actively working the steps on a daily basis. I met with my sponsor tonight via video chat and read chapter 10 To the Employers. What a great read. And who to better read it with my sponsor. I also sponsor others. And I have a network of sober friends that are also working the program. You are right about having a network however the magic is in helping another Alcoholic. When I help another alcoholic learn the program I get a real joy out of it. Plus I stay sober and my conscious contact with God is strengthened. It’s a wee program. We all help each other. There is only one person I really feel comfortable with doing my fifth step with and that’s my sponsor. I’m not going to share this with my network. But I may need my network for certain situations my sponsor may not know how to handle that’s why fellowshipping is just as important. We make connections with those that have gone through the same as we did…
Also there are 5 types of alcoholics as the big book describes. You may not be the type I am therefore you don’t need as much guidance as I did and still do at times. I’m here if you want to chat about sobriety. New tools is awesome for me. Not the ones I use for work but for sobriety… good luck my friend. Stay sober one day at a time
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The 12 steps are contained in the big book. These are to be worked with a sponsor.
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A sponsor is like a coach, a referee, and a line judge all in one. How do I figure? As a line judge they let you know when you are out of bounds and not plating the game by the rules you chose to follow. A coach by giving pointers on how to win. Lastly the referee by standing between you and the addiction that won't play fair.
I can’t find a female sponsor as there are few females willing to be a sponsor in this neck of the woods. That’s just the way it is so I just plug along without one.
I got a sponsor to help me understand the “simple program”. The big book made so much more sense when I reviewed it with my sponsor. It inspired dialog. It triggered memories both good and bad in both of us, which he helped me to understand through the lens of the 12 step program. I would not have the understanding of the big book that I do without my sponsor. I could not have effectively worked the action or growth/maintenance steps without a sponsor. Steps 1-3 without a sponsor, sure. I can see that. But beyond that I can’t imagine getting much out of it.
Not only has it been the way of Alcoholics Anonymous for decades, it really works when we follow the steps outlined in the Big Book. The problem has always been that people come looking for help getting sober and they think they know more than the people that have come before them. They want to do things differently. Trust me when I say that you are not alone. Try to remember that your best thinking is what got you here.
Another big problem that we have in this world is that people want to do everything from their cell phone. I see that a lot in the Loosid community.
The most action that people take is clicking on the app and then texting a few messages. Most people never get sober for any length of time because they're not taking the appropriate action and they're not sitting down face-to-face with people that have been where they are and have in fact recovered.
Another problem we have in the sober community is people that have been sober for any length of time don't take time out of their lives to give away what's been freely given to them other than showing up at a few meetings from time to time. What they should be doing is taking the time to step up to the plate and sponsor newcomers. They too are guilty of not taking action.
Newcomers have lots of trouble finding good sponsors because people don't take time out.
Very well stated, Kevin.
The biggest problem people have today is they want to do everything from their cell phones. That doesn't require much action.
It’s all about convenience… 
I have a group of people I use to stay connected with but one sponsor to work steps with. Step work beyond early sobriety goes beyond living without alcohol but living better period.
Yes, and last time I checked, convenience always leads to picking up again.
You really should be ashamed of yourself. You remind of the guy who can't hold his liquor and tries to show off. I'm tired of your negative rants. It's people like you that push people away from AA. I'm glad I've been going for a long time because you would definitely steer me away my first time. A sponsor is not needed it's wanted. Wanted so another human being can experience admitting there wrongs to beside GOD. I have completed steps and been through many programs in my time. The only thing that is keeping me sober today is FEAR. Not a person or a thing. Just because someone found a different way to achieve sobriety and self approvement that you couldn't do. Doesn't mean it can't exist and work. Because if it did then you wouldn't have people who go out after 10-30 years of being sober. Where was there sponsor then.
You asked a question, I gave you my view. If you don't need a sponsor, that's your choice. Maybe you're just too smart for any program, including this app.
I wish you well Tommy
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