Thanks Colin I appreciate the insight
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I go to meetings everyday, in a group chat with 15 guys, have a sponsor who I just saw last weekend, I'm chairing meetings. What more can I do?
My job I like right now it doesn't pay as much as I would like but it is doing what it is supposed to and people told me don't make any big changes in the first year so I'm taking suggestions but at the same time yes moving out would be best.
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I got you bro
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It would keep me from hating myself and not wanting to be here. But I appreciate you saying that. I just pray my life will get better
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Same here 
Have you talked with your sponsor about these challenges? Maybe work with them on setting some goals to improve the areas of your life you aren't happy with? One of the blessings of sobriety for me has been the time and freedom it's given me to examine areas of my life I want to improve and take action on them. As they say, "nothing changes if nothing changes". Congrats on staying sober and on the self awareness of recognizing your unhappiness and desire to drink- that is huge! I hope it will be a stepping stone to help you closer examine your unhappiness and the steps you can take to change it. Drinking will 100% just make things worse!
No I haven't my sponsor and I used to talk a lot but like I mentioned before he makes the 12:30 meeting and I can't do that with work I make the 6. So meeting him has become a once a week thing. I have suggested going out to brunch or something with him but he doesn't really seem too interested. The guy is in his 70s and has 39 years of sobriety so I get it. But sometimes I feel I'm working too slow on things. But at the same time I can't change how I feel: I'm still alone, still with my parents, still with the same job not making a lot of money. Drinking after work like I used to wouldn't change any of those and thus far none of those things have changed so why not be happy and drunk and relax at night?
Yes, you are right. It will free you from your pain for a small amount of time. But in the long run it will hinder your efforts to live a happy life. Do you want to be a person who relies on drinking to get through life? The fact that you are on this app and are 5 months sober tells me that you don't want to be that person. Face the problems. Face your unhappiness. Practice gratitude for what you do have and what does make you happy, no matter how small. This works wonders. Living with your parents isn't always a bad thing. I lived with my parents for years and I valued the time I got to spend with them.
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I honestly would rather not have to go through what I'm going through. But I get what you mean since I was a teenager I have just always masked my feelings by drinking or using. So it's difficult for me.
Yeah man I know it's hard. I used alcohol for years to mask my feelings and interact with people. Now that I'm sober I've realized I never made any real connections with the people I thought I was connecting with while drunk.
Let time work for you. You're life isn't going to change over night. It's a monumental thing you are doing to your life, so you must give it time to grow. I would say after 3 years you should be safely out of the woods. Right now you are still going up the grade. Keep your eye on the prize and the benchmarks approaching. 6 months is huge, then 9, 12, 15, then 18. At 18 months I would say you are no longer climbing the grade but you may get caught off guard if you're not careful. By then your mind will be agile enough to dispute any temptations quite easily. By the time you hit 3 years you will have mastered being in control of yourself and formed habits to keep the temptation to drink completely out of your life. When horrible things happen, alcohol will no longer remotely be thought of as a remedy for the pain.
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That's what I have done. I appreciate your explanation. I know it won't happen over night. My drinking didn't get worse over night so why would my life get better. I love the people in the rooms and the people who have helped me. I just feel like time is ticking away. I'm 27, single, no family, kids, life sucks I'm just being blunt. So it's difficult to stay course but I know 5 months isn't even that much time sober. I guess I will give it a year or so see what happens.
Are you getting into the steps?
Joe, the promises come true for everyone at different paces.
https://www.aacle.org/what-is-aa/twelve-promises/
I do know this. Taking the getting drunk route is a dead end. There's a whole life out there waiting to be lived.
Figure out who you are and what you like. This may take some time. Make some sober friends who have the same interests as you do.
Would you like to try something really exciting? Go to the nearest regional airport and ask to talk with a flight instructor. You can ask about going up for what's called a discovery flight. They will show you how to use a checklist and how to preflight an airplane, start up the engine, taxi to the runway and take off with you at the controls. Flight instructor will be there to help you along.
If not that, maybe something else. Maybe you could sign up for a martial arts class. YOU can completely change your life. But the key word here is
YOU.
When I was out there drinking, I just couldn't figure out how people could stay sober and find any enjoyment in life. How could people go from one day to the next without picking up a drink. I just figured that life was very boring without that.
I couldn't have been more wrong. I also learned that I wasn't having as much of a good time as I thought I was. All I was doing was spending my wheels.
Today I have a great rewarding life but there's no way I could have it if weren't for sobriety, AA and my higher power who I call Jesus.
Oh and one more thing. Congratulations on your sobriety time thus far. But you are just getting warmed up. This is one of the greatest transformations you will ever make in your life and it will have many rewards if you stay the course.
Everything else you do will be planted on that foundation of sobriety.
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You are still young. I'm 36 and quit drinking when I was 29. I have no kids and no girlfriend and I just recently moved out of my parents house. Some may say my life has been lame for the last 7 years but I don't view it that way. I've spent years with my wonderful little nieces watching them grow. Being around loving and sober family members and pets. And most of all I'm content with myself. To me, that is more important than anything. I don't try to find happiness. I let happiness find me. Now when those great things in life happen like getting my own place, wife, kids etc I'm appreciative but I'm not dependent on those things giving me happiness. The same goes for things that bring unhappiness. In the last year I've gone though horrific things, and yet here I am. Content, sober, and grateful for every moment of life and every little thing God grants me.
A wise guy once said, "once you stop the seeking, you become the seeked"
You must make yourself whole again in order to attract good things into your life. And ironically to become whole you must stop the frantic search for happiness. Find your happiness within, and in due time the things you have desired will come to you. Or maybe not, but either way you will be unmoved because you are at peace with yourself. I believe that to be sober, content, and grateful is better than anything life could possibly grant you.
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Yes I am like I've said before on this thread I work with a sponsor. Things just aren't happening in my life fast enough. Drinking after work helped relax me. I do everything I can nowadays but I miss drinking it was my way of relaxing and forgetting things.
See I feel like times ticking away I just was in a relationship with someone for 4 years and we were engaged. I liked the thought of having someone to spend the rest of my life with. Now it feels like I'm literally starting my life over. It's really hard to go from having everything you once wanted in life to having nothing and back in a situation you were trying to get out of. I want to be married and have children more than anything in this world. Time just isn't happening fast enough.
I first went to AA around 27 then stopped going and had 10 years of what I could only describe as torture I guess. Would suggest you keep going in order to not drink...reminds me of a guy I knew who told a story of feeling that same way. Then supposedly it changed for him when he started praying first thing right when he woke up...like on his knees next to his bed. Worked for him, but maybe try praying? I also knew a nun (in aa) that said sometimes she prays that "she just cant do this". Not what you would expect to hear but interesting. Also maybe a sponser change could help. Or along with AA try to grow spritually in another ways-read about buddhism or other schools of thought etc. But from my experience you should not do what I did- go back out mid 20's after being in AA- bad news...anything negative you have experienced doesnt compare to what could be.
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Nice job on 5 months! If you want a different job make a plan and execute it to get one. For me, I wouldn't do that of I was stuck back in the bottle.
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I appreciate that Roy. Yes I pray every morning and every night and even meditate. Ironic that you said that about the nun because I prayed and said that exact same thing or something similar this morning. I know if I go back nothing good will come I just don't like myself or have high self esteem so that really makes me want to give up most times.
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I like my job now but the pay is eh. So I'm at like a stand still I guess you could say. I have 4 years of experience working full time this year but want to make more money. It's like another addiction lol.
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